Had We Ever Loved So Kindly...

Also, why should I be so selfish as to whine and groan over trivial things like soul sucking incubi? There are more important things in the world, like Smiths B-sides, Christmas themed cross stitches, and H&M. Plus, there are always people who really have it worse than you.

Just like the psychic said, this year I have to focus on whats important. Like the next episode of Project Runway (whose episode this week I still have to critique). And getting ten hours of sleep each night, so I can be abducted yet again and wake up in Florida or a field in the middle of Middletown.

Life is too short to bitch and moan, even if I love Morrissey for doing it. For now, I'm leaving Morrissey to the white-person complaining. He's been doing it for decades now, and I have yet to live two. I'm going to live the way I want to, which is independent from a stupid sixteen year old boy, even if he has a car, a wallet, and easy access to the Woodbridge Mall.

Now I'm off to making my Christmas list. Bitches.

Quit Yer Whinin'

I think overnight I had a bit of a reality check. Today I slept late and did some boring things around the house, and didn't worry about boy-girl situations.

I also think that I have found the greatest website ever.

celticstitchery.com

It's like heaven for pale Celtic geeks like me. Note for anyone who wonders what to get me for Christmas: ONE OF THESE!!!! I love the Scottish Heritage section, with all the thistles and the Robbie Burns poems about God knows what.

I LOVE BACKSTITCHING. Somehow as I embroider names and dates I feel as if all my worries have gone away, and that there aren't any soul sucking incubi in the world. It's just me, my needle, and "Angel Eyes" with Jim Caveziel on TNT, on a cool autumn morning.

Oooh, fudgeums!!!

Speaking of fudge, now is the season that I cannot eat milk products, unless I want to get a horrible cold ontop of my seasonal allergies.

::realizes this is probably the nerdiest post she's ever written::

Waaaaah

Forever 21 disappointed me today. It was crowded, and there were clothes all over the place, even on the floor.

H&M never fails to make me feel like a sophisticated European. I got a cute black shirt with 3/4 length sleeves and a very nice, all purpose off-white sweater. Yay. But seriously, what is with those ugly, long dresses w/o waists? I don't think so, H&M. I don't think so.

Well, today was a great day except I spat when I was talking to my lab forensics teacher (LOL), but it could've been worse! Imagine if I peed myself or something. So spitting is cool.

After the mall, I felt a little sad because I was thinking about all my friends who are in relationships, and how retarded my poor excuse for a "relationship" was. If you could even call it that. I've never even been in a faux-relationship like my friend's relationships have been in. Ppl my age- they're pretty freaking stupid. And their boy-girl relationships are freakishly immature. But I've never even had that. Ouch.

Why do so many of my guy friends who I'd date have to be gay????

Then I remembered how Morrissey is my boyfriend, and how we have all access passes to H&M and how we live in Scotland and I cross stitch a lot and shop and write all day long.

(That is one nerdy life, isn't it)

I don't think there's anything wrong with me. This sounds selfish, but I've always been of the belief that I have good morals and am right. A lot of the time. Seriously, though. I'm a nice person. I'm funny. I have a great knowledge of pop culture. I know more about music than the average person. I'm kind. I'm Irish/Scottish/Italian. That's a great combo.

SOMEONE ASK ME OUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

(Especially if your name is Joaquin Phoenix, George Clooney, Anderson Cooper)

Accept Yourself!! (If You Can)

The amazing thing about blogs is that unless you are a cruelly honest person, you cannot write entirely everything you are feeling. Yes, I want to pour out my soul in a public way, such as Blogger- wouldn't that be nice? It'd make me feel like I was doing something right. Yet I know this is impossible since those things I'd say shouldn't be read by all. What if they saw it? What would they think?

That is a blog.

It is a silly idiotic tool for expression used by teenagers and older people with no lives.

Thus, here is my blog post for the day.

Reasons Why I Am An Idiotic Teenager

1. I like someone I've barely/never spoken to.

2. I am a shopaholic.

3. My friend kind of asked me out, and I don't know what to do(???)

4. I get anxiety and forget everything I've ever studied for tests on the day of judgement

5. I've got the trust issues.

6. Morrissey is like one of my best friends, along with X-y and the Paisans, and I've never even met him.

:-( Poo.

It sounds like I'm manic depressive, but today was actually a goodish day. TOMORROW I'M SHOPPING WEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Let's buy our feelings, and drown our sorrows in H&M!!!!

Thoughts

1. Bill Clinton > Chris Wallace

2. Eric and I are getting zeros on the SAT because we'll be too busy laughing and humming to ourselves.

3. I'm meeting David Sedaris soon. Maybe I'll upload pictures.

4. VD is for everybody.

Why Today Was Bad

1. The test I spent so much time studying for when I could have been focusing on prepping for math and mock trial was moved to Tuesday on a whim by the teacher.

2. I was yelled at by a teacher I liked, and I don't even really know why.

3. The lab test had a bunch of weird questions on things I had never seen before.

4. My night class is from 6:30 to 10 on Wed., the day before mock trial tryouts.

5. MOCK TRIAL TRYOUTS ARE SOON

6. My English teacher decides that the huge essay she told me wasn't for my class is due Wednesday.

7. Big essay on Patrick Henry when I really don't care.

8. I just wanted to go home and stitch all day long because I am a loooooser

Permission to Smack Me

Woops, there wasn't a Project Runway on last night. Imagine our surprise when we popped in the tape and watched last week's episode.

I'm excited about Mock Trial this year. Very different case this year, as opposed to last one.

I'm also excited about a new addition to our family, little Julie Grace! Imagine my surprise when my mom ran screaming through the house, "Julie Grace! It's a girl!" and I realized that I couldn't name my daughter Julia Grace anymore. I'm telling you, it's the only girl names I like. So for an hour I looked up babynames.com and I figured that not all hope is lost, I still have the name Isobel and Heather. And Siobhan is nice.

I like guy names better. It's always been that way. While all my friends were naming their not yet born daughters "Abigail" and "Elizabeth", I was like, "Owen's pretty bitchin', isn't it?"

I like the names Owen, Aidan, Sean, Andrew, and Desmond. That's some freaky weird celtic pattern going on there.

DayDream Nation

Daydream Nation. What an album. What a scary, confusing album.

When I first listened to it, I was kind of confounded. Parts of it I liked, other parts I didn't. Sometimes I'd put it on and completely forget ten minutes later I was listening to music.

But now I listen to DayDream Nation, and I love it. It's the soundtrack to life. I don't know if that makes any sense, especially since the lyrics are like "I wanna know, should I stay or go?" and "I ain't no cow" (or something), but the music- the riffs, the noise, the sonic explosions (LOL), are reminiscent of life. "Candle"- doesn't it remind you of when you're at school and that person you like yet hate so desperately comes walking in? Doesn't "Kissability" remind you of Marilyn Monroe on Meth? Doesn't "Teen Age Riot" remind you of putting pictures up in your locker?

I was thinking before about some disappointing stuff about school, etc., and I literally thought, "Hey, it's ok, I got Daydream Nation."

And it's true. It's possibly one of my favorite albums. Everyone should be acquainted with the power of Sonic Youth.

Who'd win in a fight? Pavement or Sonic Youth? SY, of course.

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

School. It's making me so busy. I'm ending my homework at about eight PM each night. It's driving me crazy. :0 ::tears, sadness, the cure::

Project R. was on last night, but I didn't watch it because I had PSAT class. So, I'll watch it tonight after I study my Italian and all my Lab Forensics. Kill me now. Sweet Jesus.

Good Morning

More Project Runway

Ok, let's talk about PR the other night. Firstly, we got a surprise by our favorite of favoritest people, ANGELA and VINCENT!!!!!!!

I was really surprised they brought the two of the back, but I was happy to see Jeffrey look so pissed. Maybe Angela really is a bitch? Who knows. It's reality tv, after all.

Let's discuss the creations, people.

1. Jeffrey- WTF. Seriously, guys. This is something you can buy at Wet Seal. It DOES look cheap, just like Kayne said. Now I'm not dissing Wet Seal- sometimes they have cute clothes. But you don't wear a streetwalker's ensemble to a freaking cocktail party. Final Verdict:Not innovative, pile of crap.

2. Angela- WTF. Seriously, Angela. It didn't even fit her right. Final Verdict: Boring, peice of crap.

3. Laura- BEAUTIFUL!!! Something that I would wear to a party. People who criticize it say that it's too old looking, but I think it's a great vintage peice. It was made wonderfully. Laura has a lot of talent. You go, girl. Final Verdict:Deserved to win.

4. Kayne- Loved the front, hated the back. Kayne is one of my favorites, and I was so sad to see him go. Final Verdict: If the challenge were to make black dresses, he should have won. But unforunately the white ribbon tassell on the back threw him off.

5. Michael- Nice!!! The model looked pretty, too. You can tell she likes Michael. Final Verdict: Great work, as expected.

6. Uli- Cute, but just as Nina Garcia said, should've cut the sleeves. Final Verdict: Nice, for Uli, but needs to show something more unique.


Vincent really is out of his mind. "Vincent Libretti, the end of an era" hit it right on the spot. I'll miss Kayne. Angela is weird. Laura is quickly becoming one of my favs. Jeffrey needs to make something for the average person, or maybe someone who isn't into pretending they're "rock".

***

In other news, I just had a pep rally. My butt hurt. I miss the days of being a freshmen. Tear, tear, tear.

Today I'm going shopping for skinny jeans. (hope I look good in them... maybe only audrey hepburn types can wear them) Then I am taking my mom out to eat, and we are going to the library. Boring Friday? maybe. but it's fun for me, and plus- it's raining like crazy. All day it looked like night; so dark and dreary. Very Braveheart/Scotland-esque, be still my heart.

ahhh

JIMMY.

YOUR NAME IS JIMMY.

wooo

The Bodyguard

Stop Me, Oh, Stop Me

VINCENT.

YOUR NAME ISN'T JIMMY.


I'm so sorry!

Embarassing moment.

Morrissey

If you know anything about modern music, you'll know that Morrissey, always called "elder statesman of rock" by lazy journalists, has the best concerts ever. Not only is it freaking MORRISSEY, guys, but his concerts are like religous experiences. Audience members run onto the stage, scream, cry, and climb ontop of the shoulders of security guards to reach their idol.

Who will join those crazy Mexicans next time Morrissey comes to NY?

Yours truly.

I'm not sure you want to go to a Morrissey concert with me, because chances are, as soon as he enters that stage, I'll completely ignore you and leave you to become lost or trampled in the swarming crowd. The sea of fans may part us, and I'll have to leave you. Because in that instant where he walks out and begins to sing, "The First of the Gang to Die", I'm getting on that freaking stage. I don't care if I have to be carried off by security guards. I'll go down in history for being the most fanatic female fan, that one girl who consitently rushed the stage at "that one Morrissey concert in '06."

I'm sure it'll be between me and some gay dude, for the most times we rush the stage. I'll win, though, because I'm fast.

I'll be like, "STOP ME, OH OH OH, STOP ME" to all the fat guards who don't reliaze how sacred a Morrissey concert is.

Travesties of the Human Race

Delias- Delias is great. If you want to spend forty dollars on a shitty t-shirt/sweater that will break up in the washing machine.

Flava of Love- Doesn't need much of an explanation.

Super Sweet Sixteen- See above.





Things that Make Me Sound Like a Crazy Old Person:

Kids grow up too fast now a days.I mean, I totally miss being a little kid and not caring about anything. It's funny, seeing the freshmen. They're all either little Hollister models or shop exclusively at Hot Topic. What does it say about our culture when we see kids younger than that even with mohawks? Do they know what they're rebelling against?

Nah.

Does anyone ever? LOL, NO!!

Vegas Weddings Never Last Long

Well, today Al and I actually recorded an album. We took songs that we had recorded the summer before, and some new ones we did together recently. I'm not kidding; our originals sound pretty good. They are a mixture of like Neil Young and the Moldy Peaches. Plus, I did the whole "scattered indians on dawn's highway bleeding" crap on The Doors' covers.

Our next album we're doing Simon and Garfunkel covers, and maybe Alli's new one!!! WEEEEE

IMDB- Causes Secret Lives!

Oh, man. I watched the creepiest movie today. It's called "The Beach", and Leo Dicaprio played the main character, Richie. So in this movie, Richie James Edwards, the lyricist and "guitarist" from MANIC STREET PREACHERS, joins up with his friend to travel to the elusive "beach", where stardom and fame will never hit him.
JK. But he does go to this beach where its inhabitants never leave. They've created this secret paradise for themselves. Except they mislooked the fact it was an island. Islands=never a good idea. Lord of the Flies, anyone?
I loved this film! It's not great, and it's actually mediocre. But I love the story and of course who doesn't love Leonardo DiCaprio, guys? He's such a great actor, especially when he hides out in the jungle and becomes a snake and hisses at that chick. I especially love the Scottish guy, Daffy. It's funny, because my nan was Scottish and she used to do a Daffy Duck impression, which is pretty rocking.

Ninjas!

Hello world. Today was a Fri-deeeeee. Last night I stayed up and read my previous journal. Yes, I keep a journal, and it's definitely not this blog. See, even though this blog is all over the place and incomprehensible at times, my journal is slightly more organized.

Last year, I said the funniest frikkin' things ever. The really funny things I can't write online, in fear . But some funny things were like:

"Jesus is black, blacker than you think."

Speaking of black, Alan, my black friend- jk.

Today Public Enemy #2 was all, "I haven't seen you in so long!!!" I was like, "It's better that way!" And then I snapped my fingers and my ninjas came out of the locker and it was all Fight Club for a while, very intense.

"McFly" must be afraid of me, I pop up everywhere.

These Things Almost Make Me Smile

Look at me up a tree again, folks. Tomorrow I'm going to be stuck at the school for like three hours after it ends. All I want to do is go home and relaxe. It's hard, being Anderson Cooper's fiance. Living on Park Ave is a toughie, I must say!!! I wouldn't recommend it to most. Sleeping until noon, and going to bed whenever the H-E-double hockey sticks I want is not only time consuming, but takes a lot out of you. In my spare time (uh, what spare time????) I shop and visit museums and eat great food. By the time the day is done, I'm ready to take a vacation from my life as it is.

Jk. Nah, jk. I'm really his fiance, guys, I'm just trying to sound funny. Bet you're mad jealous of me.

*******
I just don't want to watch his show this week because it makes me really sad, and I don't need the TV shoving heartbreak in my face when everyone's just trying to get by day by day. Only a portion of the population knows exactly how it feels; but what they feel is real, and it makes me sad that in a few decades it will just be something that happened to their parents, something read about in history books, like Pearl Harbor.
*******
On a lighter note, I watched some Lost with the bff today. Good times. I wish the rent liked Lost better, because there's no way she's paying thirty-five to fifty dollars to buy Season II. And there's no way I'm buying it, when I have a dress on EBAY I'm looking at, and Christmas to save up for, and I currently am unemployed (hoping to change that soon when my friend quits and I get his job). Yizzle. I missed Sawyer and his witty allusions to literary works and pop culture references. That man is awesome. I had a love hate-relationship with him, but now he's totally one of my fav. on the island. Besides the wonderful SAEED and MR EKO!!!!!! Perfect men, I'm telling you. They know how to kill anything that gets in their way. And they do it with the air and mystique of a lost soul on a paranormal island. Oh, yeah, and I love Desmond because he's so cute and SCOTTISH!! Um, hello? I

Seriously, I think Season III is going to make me poop my pants. The cliffhangers, the cliffhangers.

Stuff

Winner: Jeffrey
Going home: Vincent

MY EVALUATION

1. Jeffrey- Jeffrey may still be an ass, but he totally deserved to win this. His plaid dress was fierce, as Tyra Banks would say. I would wear that thing....ok, maybe not, but I'd gaze at it and wish I could wear it. It was the only dress that was unique or different.

2. Vincent- Wow, what a creep! Had no idea he was such a perv. Anyway, this dress was so boring and cheaply made. Thank God he's going home.

3. Kayne- I LOVE KAYNE. I was so happy he stayed. I thought his dress was gorgeous. I'm in love with it. I didn't think it looked garish or vulgar at all. So he likes some sequins, give the guy a break. It was executed very nicely, and Kayne looks like such a nice guy, who could not like him?

4. Laura- I like Laura more and more as a person since she became pregnant. Don't know why. But this dress was nothing special. She knew it too. Still, I'd love if she could design one of those sweet deep v-neck dresses for me. Call me!

5. Michael- Didn't particulary like the dress, but I still think Michael is the most talented designer.

6. Uli- Beautiful dress, lovely color. I hope she goes far.



In other news, guys, here are some boring resolutions I've made today.

1. I wear too much mascara.
2. I don't know anything about cameras.
3. Pills & Soup is possibly the funniest sounding song I've ever heard. Only a short man with big ass glasses like Elvis Costello can pull that off.

I'M RICH, BITCH!! lol. No, but I am slightly famous and will achieve outstanding ovations (get it haha) in Belmar when everyone sees how cool I am. No, what they will really see is how lucky I am to have family and friends who are so generous. Thanks everyone.

Interesting

Life is stressful enough as it is, I really don't need guys like Sean Penn getting between me and my bff. Technically he's still Chrissy's, but lately he's been all up in my face, calling me and texting me and asking me out to nice dinners and buying me all these expensive necklaces and earrings. I have to admit, it's very flattering but the situation is becoming increasingly awkward. Eventually I'll have to really tell Chrissy where the diamonds are coming from. And just the other day when I complimented Sean Penn, she half-jokingly said, "He's mine, bitch! I had him first!" I said, "Oh, I know, I know!" Because it's the truth. But still. The times have changed. A love square begins.

School

First day of school! Went great, seem to like all my classes with the exception of just one. Hurrah. Unfortunately, no one told me about the AP English Assignment over the summer, so I'm writing essays on The Crucible as we speak.

Beautiful, Slightly Mental

This is Preston Sharp, the sensitive poet cowboy on ABC's Extreme Makeover Home Edition. If you're not Anderson Cooper, you might as well be Preston.

Updates

Sometimes I get nervous that Belle and Sebastian is the only music I can listen to. It's been two years now, and I think my love of them only grows. I listen to B&S, Looper, The Gentle Waves...everything Belle and S. related. If Stevie had a band, too, I'd love it just as much.

I dreamt I was on a dock of a lake, like the one in What Lies Beneath. David Duchovny and some blonde older chick was watching me from a window. I fell under, where a sea creature took me , yelling in a Spanish accent, "I kill you! I kill you! I take you to my underwater lair!" He sounded like Cartman if he was Cheech or Chong. Now I laugh about it. But when I woke up, I was terrorfied. It was scary!! I woke up and was like, "Noooooooooo" JK. But I woke up and then I went back to dreaming. DAVID DUCHOVNY WAS IN MY DREAM. And I got kidnapped by a sea monster. Ok. That's like a cruel twist of fate. There was nothing like being rescused from aliens by Fox Mulder. Nothing cool like that.

Actors always pop up in my dreams. Adrien Brody, Crispin Glover, Michael J. Fox. But they're acting- usually they're just characters in the play that is my dream. Except when it comes to that sweet dream I had the other night where I was in Switzerland during Christmas time with Anderson Cooper on a honeymoon. Does it get better than that? Noo, I'm afraid it doesn't.

My Netflix List

Caterina in the Big City, Jandek on Corwood, Orphic Trilogy: The Blood of a Poet, Orphic Trilogy: Orpheus, Orphic Trilogy: Testament of Orpheus, Great Writers: Jean Cocteau, The 400 Blows.

Caterina in the Big City is a great movie, and I wanted to show my parents the film. Jandek on Corwood just looks interesting, even if Jandek is a tosser. Items three-six are some of my favorite things, and The 400 Blows looks mega interesting. Plus, Ebert told me to see it.

Hehe, Sorry!

You're all invited to my wedding to Anderson Cooper. I hope you all come, it's going to be super cool. We're honeymooning in Switzerland.

Wedding

You're all invited to my wedding to Anderson Cooper.

George

George Clooney has pretty much been my #2 guy for a long while. Whether he was saving lives on ER, lookin' to fornicate in "O Brother...", or just generally being George Clooney and scoring chicks, he was always my second place pick after Joaquin. (more on how that's changed later) However, I find that times have sadly changed. Granted, Clooney is extremely good looking, and he has magnetic charm and intelligence that is attractive in a person. Yes, I'd probably go crazy if I saw him or got the chance to speak to him. But there are some negatives I find in the Cloonster that makes me less crazy about him.


One being that he is forty five years old and he's not settled down. I don't know why I care. I don't think it's wrong to be a bachelor at an older age, and I think it's actually smart of him to choose not to commit to a marriage as opposed to marrying and just not caring. I've always said, better not to get married, and better not to have kids, than mess up your life with those two decisions if you know they won't agree with you. But then the trust issues factor into the situation. Cloonster isn't married because he's a two-timing cheater who knows he is a God amongst men and likes to use his status as Chick Magnet to score any convenient bimbo available.

Even though he's never looked like a total jerk, George knows most women would jump at the chance to be with him. Including myself. Take back everything I've said, I am a female and as hopeless as they come to the charms of the Cloonster. If everything doesn't work out with Anderson, you know.

The Kevin Bacon Thing Game

How I'm Connected to Filmmaker/Poet/Extraordinaire JEAN COCTEAU

1. Our friend from the post office opened up for Joe Perry when he was in his kick-ass band, Secret Syde.

2. Joe Perry was in Aerosmith with Steven Tyler.

3. Steven Tyler's daughter Liv was in a movie with or somehow involved with Jean Marais (I think. Don't look this up because it might discredit my whole connection to Cocteau)

4. Jean Marais- Jean Cocteau= lovers
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts

I hate Jandek.

I don't know how I'm going to stay up for Anderson Cooper 360 once school starts.

Skittles don't taste good anymore.

It's raining a lot, and we're not even near the hurricane.

The H&M website finally makes sense.

Wickerman is scary good.