A Quick Overview of Bands I Have Called My Favorite

1. NSYNC- I know that now is the perfect time to say I was a misguided youth. But I still love NSYNC. Not even a guilty pleasure. They were so much fun. I like to take out No Strings Attached time to time and dance all over the place.

2. No Doubt- Still one of my favorites. I could write an essay on how much I love them, how much they meant to me. I feel like I grew up with Gwen Stefani, she's my bitch.

3. Radiohead- See above. I feel like I grew up with Thom Yorke, he's my bitch.

4. The Beatles- For a very long time they were my favorite, and they are definitely still up there.

5. Belle and Sebastian- They have been my favorite now for about.....THREE YEARS! Wow! That's a lot of indie-ness. YAY.

well then

well then, let's get on with it. since no one really reads this blog anyway (with the exception of my dear friend alli), and how i just don't really give two shits about privacy, i'll tell u what's going on.

it's horribly high school.

but a guy i really really like might like me waaaaah and i don't know if he does or not, or if his friend was lieing (lying?? sp?)

WAAAAAAAAAH

IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK

I'm just going to have to wait.

All weekend, I've been going through stages, where I'm like OMG OMG OMG OF COURSE HE'S NOT LYING!!!! HE LIKES YOU YAAAY and then I'm like, OMG IT WAS A HORRIBLE JOKE M*** IS A LIAR BOO HOO WHY WOULD HE DO THIS TO ME???

And honestly, I can't think of a reason why he would lie to me.

I just go in circles, and I can come to no conclusion.

This is my mind.

LAURA, WHY WOULD HE LIKE YOU? YOU WEIGH LIKE FIFTEEN MORE LBS THAN HIM!!! HE HEARS YOU TALK ABOUT THE MOST INANE THINGS WITH ALL YOUR WEIRD OUTSIDER FRIENDS!!! YOU'RE UGLY! YOU HAVE A REALLY ROUND FACE AND HE SEES YOUR RIGHT PROFILE A LOT AND YOUR RIGHT PROFILE IS NOT AS PRETTY AS THE LEFT!!! GAAAAH!!

But Laura, you are the only girl he talks to in that class, you have a lot in common, you think you've seen him look at you a few times, and he always hears what you say even when you're not talking to him and sometimes in those situations he even turns around and talks to you or makes some sort of witty remark in response, so he obviously is interested in you.

BUT I CALLED M*** AN UNLIKEABLE JERK, AND MAYBE HE'S GETTING REVENGE NOW!! GAAAAH!!

Whatever, he gives you free candy, he can't hate you that much.

OMG LAURA YOU'RE GOING TO CONFRONT HIM AND THEN HE'LL LAUGH AND DROP PIG'S BLOOD ALL OVER YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO WRECK THE TOWN WITH YOUR PSYCHIC POWERS!!!!!!!!!

Oh my God, freak, just calm down a little.

UMMM, BIG BIG DEAL!

Something recently just happened that could change my life a bit, and I hope to God he was telling the truth!!!!!!!!!!

Saturdee

Scary Ass Moments

Just watched the Blair Witch Project, and thinking about truly scary things that have happened to me. What pops into my mind are two incidents- all occuring this year!

About two weeks ago, I was up in the morning, walking around the kitchen in a daze (I'm not a morning person). My mom was making her breakfast at the counter, and suddenly I heard the door open and someone walk inside. Now, we're the only ones at home, ok? And I gasped, and I hid behind my mom (LOL), totally believing that some strange man had just walked in.

Turns out it was my dad, who had a flat tire and couldn't go to work at his usual time.

I felt like an idiot.

But a very scared idiot.

Then the scarier moment- In Cape May, we stayed in the Columbia House, on the haunted floor. Toph and I were kind of laughing about it, and didn't really believe in the legends too much- but that night, seriously- we couldn't sleep because the microwave kept beeping on and off, and we heard all sorts of noises like ppl walking, etc. I didn't want to say anything at first. Then she was like, "I'm sorry, but the microwave is freaking out."
"I know, I'm so fucking scared!"

We were SOOOOOOO scared. We didn't sleep. All the noises we heard were just like the incidents from The Ghosts of Cape May Book; every appliance in the kitchen went haywire.

The next morning we asked if anyone else heard anything. And of course they didn't. We played around with the microwave, and the regular normal beeping noise it made was quite different than the one we heard the night before. Two very different sounds.

Later my mum told me that she heard the air conditioning go on and off the next night.

So it wasn't just us. But it was really upsetting at the time, even if we didn't see any ghosts or anything.

A moment that probably should have been scary but wasn't- when i was sucked under a wave at the beach and the current carried me for what seemed like ten minutes. I was aware that I was underwater, and being thrown around; I was like, "oh, right then, this is how it all happens. I guess this is how I'll die"

Or what about Wildwood- when our seatbelts didn't buckle on that wooden rollercoaster, and we still went on it??

wow, such a daredevil.

gfdgd

well not really crush i guess. it's weird. it's odd.


murghlkgfjldjglf;djgfdgfdgfdg

right now

I'm feeling really odd. Like a whole mix of feelings. Maybe it's cuz I'm tired. But I think I'm just really hormonal.

Sometimes I just have a million emotions and thoughts inside me but no way to verbalize it. IDK. I'm stupid and it's Spring and I have the biggest crush on someone.

durrr

never play bloons. addictive.

For the past ten minutes I've tried to sum up my feelings and write a coherent post, but I have ultimately failed to do so. it was going to be about sexism, and how difficult it is to be a girl and mold yourself to fit society's expectations and the double standard and all that.

But maybe my brain just farted too much.

Cuz really- to grow up female in America, or the world for that matter, is to grow up a wave of contradictions. It is to be immersed in a culture of confusion, self loathing, impossible waist lines.

It is very difficult to write exactly how one's sex has so affected them; since afterall, I came to the conclusion a year ago that whether i knew it or not, almost every aspect of my life has been effected (affected? IDK, I'm sleepy) by my gender. How I look at myself, how I look at others, how I behave.

It's cuz I'm the age that I am, that I am suddenly aware of how silly this world is for a girl and how , even though times have changed since the 1800s, ppl are still sexist in their own little way. Like, why do even my closest guy friends (with the exception of two or three) call all their girl friends "slut" or "ho"? Somehow being called a "slutty bitch" by my friend has become some weird term of endearment. It's wrong, and I live with it everyday, and I do nothing about it because I, like many others, have gotten too used to it.

The Search For Perfect Hair

I'm tired of being a flapper. In my attempts to become French, I really want to be:

AUDREY TAUTOU

Ok. This is grreat hair. It's gooorgeous. And I'm jealous.

My Guilty Pleasure is Hole

I like Hole. At least, I like Live Through This. Cuz I haven't heard anything else by them, lol. But when I was a lil seventh grader I would totally rock out to Miss World and Peices of Jennifer's Body. I remember watching MTV at like seven in the morning (don't know why the hell I was up so early back then) and the video for "Violet" came up. I was like, OMG RIOT GRRL WTFBBQ!!"

I still stand by my seventh grade self. Those were some good ass songs. I cannot convince my brother of this. But it's true.

More

I can't wait until I start my job, because I really do need the extra cash. No, I guess I just need cash. I've been living on Christmas gift certificates.

As much as I love shopping, though, I feel like I'm cheap. I feel guilty whenever I buy something expensive. I found these adorable eye color palettes (sp?) by a company called Fresh! (or something), but they're $40-$50... and I'd feel really guilty buying them. Plus, it's just not on my budget...I mean, yes, I could shell out the cash. But then I'd be broke for a bit, and not able to go shopping for another month or something.

It's a delicate balance, lol.

I'm off to sleeeeep now. Tomorrow I'm going to sleep as late as possible, and then do laundry and read about Eisenhower. Bleugh.

Ok, Christian Bale...

Why are you so good looking?

my sub basically summed up my life for me today, and it was all very true and personal and it was all very OMGWTFBBQ. For reals. Basically he told me that guys know I'm too smart for them and I wouldn't let them pull shit on me. He was like, you're atypical girlfriend material but not for teenagers.

Ummm, screw teenagers.

Whatevs. I have to work on a powerpoint tomorrow, and I H8 Powerpoint like a bitch because it's mad difficult to write Shape Poems with. Dear Lord, I'm a Junior and I'm still writing Shape Poems.

I'm scared right now because I just watched Red Dragon ahhhh!!! And it's late, and I'm the only one up. Plus, I just googled: Rex 84 program. And I'm convinced the visitors are watching me ahhhhh

Thank You, Prestige and Covergirl

Thank you, Prestige and Covergirl for creating my favorite cosmetics. A girl cannot live on MAC alone, especially if she is unemployed. Therefore, I always depend on my handy dandy Prestige Classic Eyeliner in Chocolate and Kiwi.

It must be fourth marking period, because instead of writing notes on Eisenhower I am writing lists of my favorite celebrities in history class. And celeb guys I like. Here's what I came up with.

Joaquin Phoenix
David Duchovny
Christian Bale
David Gahan
Benicio Del Toro
Damon Albarn
John Cusack

and a few others that if I put up here everyone would be like, omg omg omg omg but liam neeson is so old!!! omgwtfbbq!!!!

All of the English department is going around calling me Anne Frank. Thank you lol.

Anyway, my friendly friends, I'm going off to re-watch Tissue Gate on American Idol last night.

uklgfjds

Haven't been able to post in a while because Mozilla Firefox won't let me get onto Blogger. Whatevs.

So American Idol last night was a total let down. Half of the celebrities they promised DIDN'T SHOW UP. No Gwen Stefani, no performance by Bono. Instead RASCAL FLATTS. WTF. That's so upsetting to me.

Plus, the whole "let's not vote anyone out" thing was such a cop out.

Worst episode of Idol ever.

(except for the fact it raised a lot of $ for poor people)

And they showed that commercial with Benicio Del Toro several times :-)

Top Ten Favorite Albums: American Water

DC Berman of the Silver Jews is friends with Stephen Malkmus of Pavement fame. And Malky Malk even played on a few Silver Jooos albums, including the classic American Water. Rumor has it that after cutting a few Silver Jews albums, Malkmus realized that Pavement sucked in comparison, and decided that he had to disband and form the Jicks.

Even if that's not true, The Silver Jews are certainly > than Pavement. The album, American Water, is kind of alternative/folky/indie/country and paints a portrait of Americana. For someone who is so paranoid about their country, it's really amazing for me to like something like that. But anyway, the music and the lyrics stand up on their own and The Silver Jews are mad underrated.



The Silver Jews basically sound like if Pavement and Bob Dylan hooked up with Walt Whitman and made a band.

In fact,

Laura Reviews A Confederacy of Dunces

Yes, my friends, A Confederacy of Dunces is one of my favorite books.

I was hanging out with my brother in the mall, walking out of some inevitably shitty store, when he told me that I should really pick up ACOD. We have similar tastes, so I figured I'd go out and buy it instead of borrowing it from our town's shitty library.

I think I read it in two days.

Granted, I was at a crappy school back then that didn't give me any work to do in the Spring Quarter, so I'd go home and have hours without homework to kill, and then get up in the morning, and manage to kill six hours of school somehow.

But even if I were taking AP classes back then, I'd still zip through the book.

Because ACOD is one of the greatest books ever written. Here's wiki's summary of the book:

Ignatius is something of a modern Don Quixote — eccentric and creative, sometimes to the point of delusion.

The story is set in the city of New Orleans in the early 1960s. The central character is Ignatius J. (Jacques) Reilly, an intelligent but slothful man still living with his mother at age 30 in Uptown New Orleans, who, because of family circumstances, must set out to get a job. In his quest for employment he has various adventures with colorful French Quarter characters.
He disdains modernity, particularly pop culture. The disdain becomes his obsession: he goes to movies in order to mock their inanity and express his outrage with the contemporary world's lack of "theology and geometry." He prefers the scholastic philosophy of the Middle Ages, especially that of Boethius. However he is also seen as enjoying many modern comforts and conveniences, and is given to claiming that the rednecks of rural Louisiana hate all modern technology which they associate with progress.



One day I was called down to the guidance office to talk about what classes I wanted to take next year. I had to explain to my guidance counselor (who I had never seen before in my life) that I wasn't going to be coming back next year. Part of me wanted to tell her that I was pregnant and going to get married to the manager of a local Burger King who wanted to travel out west to seek fortune in Las Vegas. But I ended up telling her the truth, that I just couldn't stand the school and needed to go back home.

Surprisingly, she was really cool about it. Before I left, she said,
"I see you're reading A Confederacy of Dunces."
"Yeah! It's a really good book."
"My mother was friends with the author, you know."
"Really????"
"Yeah."
"What was he like?"
"Well," she smiled. "he was really something else. Very funny."

Then he killed himself, of course.

But still, isn't that awesome? I had just picked up the book like a day ago, and here I was, already two steps away from the author!!

A Confederacy of Dunces is funny, brilliant, and warped. It's an American classic. I'd love to see John Kennedy Toole take down Scott F. Fitzgerald in a fight. You should all go out and buy this book. The characters you meet are unbelieably odd, and the gay ppl are hillllarrrious.

What I'm Thinking

Everytime something heartbreaking and disasterous happens, I'm flooded with empathy and sympathy for the families and people effected.

Events like that are a part of you for the rest of your life. Whether it's fair or not.

It's like, you can mourn and grieve and then you're forced to go on. And then you move on in life, but you always get flashbacks and experience memories you tried to repress.

Then I start to think about the absurdity of the events, and why it's always the innocent that have to suffer.

After all these years, I still have so many questions and I still feel sad and I guess mourn in a different way. Like, what would our lives be like if any of it didn't happen? And although the victims of VTech are older than I was at the time, I can still relate; because I know what it's like to have your life change forever from a traumatic and insane event.

I really hope that they can recover and move on the best they can. As nicely as possible. Because the truth is, a part of them will never recover because something was taken from them. But I just hope they make an ok transition, and I'm thinking so much about all of them.

Blur Memories

Also, Blur reminds me of flying to San Fran, with my face up against the window and just beginning to wonder about my life and America and what everything all means.

That's some pretty heavy memorable stuff, right?

::Just got really nostalgic and kind of sad::

Thank you, Blur, for growing up with me. And being so lovely and British.

Part One Of Ten Favorite Albums

Hello there, little ones. I plan on writing, over the next few months, about my top ten favorite albums (in no particular order). So today let's gather round and listen to some The Universal and hear about Blur.



So is it wrong that one of my favorite albums of all time happens to be Blur Best Of? It's a greatest hits album, so I guess that's kinda anti-hip.



But I love each and every one of those songs. Blur= one of my favorite things ever. If I had been living in England in the '90's (and a bit older, since I was a youngin' back then), I would have been a space cadet for Blur.

In my factual opinion, Blur is greater than Oasis.

They were like artsy intellectual types for the middle class.
While Oasis just got drunk and grew a unibrow.

I can't tell you how much these songs mean to me. I always say that, but I think Blur is kind of the soundtrack to my life. I love them. I'd like to give each member a hug, and maybe more so with damon, but anyway- To show my love for Blur, let me say some pretentious statements about them.



1. They are the best English band after The Beatles. Or Queen, however you want to look at it. (Actually, this is true)
2. They are mad under rated, and should be worshipped as Gods. (This happens to be true as well)
3. They have helped me develop my faux cockney accent.
4. They make me want to dance around AND buy trainers!



(If you've managed to read this and not listen to all these songs you are going to Hell)

with these shoulder pads i have the ability to destroy homes villages and crops

i'm mad

i'm mad because saturday, first day of break, i sat down and wanted to do all my homework to get it over with. ok. well that's not happening. because on top of homework i have from other classes, my ap english teacher went insane.

we had to:

1) Read the whole A Streetcar Named Desire.
2) Answer questions, do this whole packet about themes and motifs from the book, which includes basically going through each act and writing down an example of each theme/motif that was included.
3)Two Current Events- I hate these things. We're not in fifth grade.
4)An AP test packet with SEVEN entries and seventy-something questions. Not bad, right? except we have to go through each and ever question, write them down, and go through each possible answer and write why they are/ are not the answer to the question. I've been working on this since Saturday, still not done.
5) An AP style essay

I want to cry, lol. So I'm working on my Italian report for a while, then going back to the english hw. and to think we once all had lives!!!

many questions

name: laura
birthday:
birthplace:
eye color: dark hazel
hair color: dark brown, almost black
height: five four and a half!!
weight: you have got to be kidding me.
right handed or leftie?: I'm ambi.
Your Heritage: Irish, Scottish, Italian and a little bit German that I try to deny/forget about.
worst habit: touching my hair!
shoe size: anywhere from five to seven.
pants size: anywhere from nine to eleven (don't know why, my butt is actually really small)

innie our outie: innie, innie, innie. i don't think i know any outies.
The shoes you wore today: purple old navy flip flops.
your weakness: chocolate, david gahan, joaquin phoenix, math.
your fears: well, this is an interesting one. i have an odd phobia of things falling on my head. but other than that, i can't think of anything else except sharks (everyone hates them) and global warming.

your perfect pizza: lots of pepperoni, sausage.
your most overused phrase on instant messanger: LOL
thoughts first waking up: depends on what day it is. I usually wake up imagining something, or I wake up dreading a test or thinking DAMN I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL
best physical feature: i think i have pretty eyes and a nice nose.
your bedtime: i like to be in bed by ten on school nights because i need tons of sleep.
your most missed memory: too personal.

favorite color: green.
food: oatmeal, pasta, bread, skittles, cookie dough, pickles, shephard's pie, and potatoes.
sport: sports kind of suck. i enjoy watching soccer, but i'm only good at playing golf.
animal: anyone who knows me knows how much i love lambs.
ice cream: cookie dough
candy: skittles and lollipops
Store: H&M
Salad Dressing: I like Caesar more and more.
Actor: Robert Deniro <3 <3 <3 Joaquin Phoenix, John Cusack, Robert Downey Jr., James Dean. Lots of them.
Song: Linger by the Cranberries, Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying by Belle and S, a Velvet Underground song which unfortunately escapes me at the moment.
Letter: L or R.
Number: Twenty-four.
Gum: Orbit's Lemon Lime.
Holiday: Christmas!!!
Season: Fall or Spring.
Toothpaste: colgate whitening.
radio station: I hate the radio, I really can't stand q104.3, and 106.3 plays a lot of shit in between the occasional good song.
Perfume?: Wind Song.
Scent Besides Perfume: Soap, rain, Fabric Softener.
Body Part on the Opposite Sex: The back and the hands because I'm a freak.

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?: Either a psychologist or an English teacher or a professor.
How Do You Want to Die?: In my sleep, after I tell my family how much I love them.
Turn ons: Good singing voices, dark hair, a sense of humour, good taste, slightly muscular guys.
Turn offs: Conservatives.
When Have You Cried the Most: Ohhhh, my gosh. Well, that's a personal one. Let me just answer for recent times- when I screwed up the mock trial competition. cried for two days i was so embarrassed.
What Is The Best Feeling in The World: Finding something you have lost.
Worst Feeling: When a teacher acts like a biotch to you. Then you know IT'S ON.
Where Do You Want to Live When You Grow up? I don't know. Hopefully anywhere in New Jersey and UP. You will not find me living anywhere else in the states. I'd like to live in the city for a while, and then retire to Scotland.
If You Could Change One Thing About You What Would It Be? I wish that I didn't have anxiety at times.
How Long Do You Think You'll Live: I think I'll live until I'm in my seventies.

Finish the sentence.

Let's walk on the- beach.
Let's look at the- animals
What a nice- bum
Where did all the- flowers go?
Why can't we- lie in each other's arms?
Silly, little- mouse
Isn't it weird that- humans can't fly?
Never under any circumstance- Would I eat hair
I wish- I was better
Everyone has a- dream
I am- so relieved!

Have you ever...

Been in Love? I have fooled myself many times, but no, I have never truly been in love.
Been to Juvie? Are you kidding?
Mooned Someone: Yes.
Been Rejected: Of course, everyone has.
Ran Away From Home: WTF is this, a survey for delinquents?
Skipped School? Nope, only when I fake sick.
Slept Outside: No.
Laughed So Hard You Cried: All the time!!!!
Cried in School: All the time!!!
Thrown up in School: Honestly, I don't remember ever having thrown up.
Wanted to be a Model: No, I'm too short.
Gone skinny dipping: Nooooo.
Shoplifted: Nope.
Been Drunk: No.
Been Called A Tease: a "tease" is so breakfast club.
Been beaten up: No.

Do you...

Swear? Yes.
Sing well: Yes.
Shower daily: Yes.
Want to Go to College: Yes.
Want to Get Married: See the above.
Believe in Yourself: more or less, yes.
Get motion sickness- nope!
Think You Are Attractive: Sometimes I think I am, then other times I'm convinced I'm ugly. It's all a part of being a girl, I suppose. And having a period.
Get Along With Your Parents: Yeah, yeah, I'm boring.
Like Thunderstorms: Yes, very much!!!!! I love waking up to a good thunderstorm.
Play an Instrument: I play guitar.
Own an IPOD: Yes, it makes me mad, but I love it.
Pray? Yes.
Go To Church: Yes.
Sleep with stuffed animals: Yes, I sleep with two little lambs.
Keep a Journal?: I've kept one for five years now!!!!
Sing in the Shower: That's what they're for.

This or That

Pepsi or Coke: COKE ALL THE WAY.
McDonald's or Burger King: BK.
Single or Group Dates: Group dates for now.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries.
Meat or Veggies?: MEAT MEAT MEAT
Adidas or Nike: Wow, I am not a chav.
Chinese or Mexican: CHINESE food is a gift from God.
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: I represent the cheerios. Looooove cheerios.
Cake or Pie: Depends. I mean, if we're talking about fake cake here, I'm all for the pie. Especially if its flaky and crusty and nice. But if we're talking about a luxurious chocolatey cake oozing with chocolatey goodness, skip the pie.
MTV or VH1: Neither, but I like VH1's I Love the ________
Boxers or Briefs: ugh, idk. I guess boxers.


What's The Last

Time You Laughed? A few minutes ago, someone posted something really funny at a message board I go to.
Time You Cried? I think a day or two ago, in my room over some stupid trivial thing I lost.
Movie You Watched? Heir to an Execution.
Flavor of Gum You Chewed: Mint.
Joke You Told: Two blondes walk into a bar...
Song You've Song: Mercy In You

Right at this moment.

Where are you? In the office.
What Can You See Out Your Window: Darkness.
Are You Listening to Music? Yes, Tender by Blur
What Are You Wearing: PJS and a thermal shirt.

Do You believe

There is life on other planets- There's got to be.
Miracles- Yes, I believe in miracles.
Magic- No, unfortunately this is not Harry Potter.
Love at first sight?- Yes, I"m certain that it happens all the time ha hahahaha
God? yes, I believe in God
Satan: Not really
Ghosts: Yes
Santa: I wish
Evolution: you are slightly retarded if you do not believe in evolution in the year 2007

IN A BOY

This is where it gets interesting.

Fav. Eye Color: I suppose blue, because a lot of the guys I like have blue eyes. But then again, there are some hot guys I like who have brown eyes.
Fav. Hair Color: Dark brown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'm a contradiction of sorts, because the guy I really like now has light hair.
Short or Long Hair: SHORT. Please. For the love of God. Not many people can pull long hair off. David Gahan couldn't even, and he's hot as hell. cut your hair. please. i used to like long hair but now I see how sad it is. guys. short it up.
height: obviously taller than me.
weight: i don't really know much about guy's weights, but it'd be nice if you weighed more than me because i don't want to crush you.
best clothing style: i have something for mod boys, guys who really have it together like franz ferdinand. but honestly, i don't really have a preference .

What Country Would You Like to Visit?: I want to go back to Scotland again and again and again and live there forever.
Number of CD's I Own: Hundreds.
Good Luck Charm: Nothing really.
How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.
Person You Hate Most: can't really say I truly HATE anyone
does god have a gender: no, but i always picture him as a guy.
where do we go when we die: a bar called Heaven.
Did you play with Barbies as a child: HELL YES. Played with them until I was twelve.

aah

Mercy In You

I really hope my son doesn't hate me when I name him David Gahan.

Um....

Hi. I wonder how many posts I have made that somehow incorporate the word "um".

Third marking period=crap. I'm ashamed of myself.

Anyway, I'm bugging. WTF am I going to do with my life? Um, do you realize in THREE YEARS I need to know what career to take??????? WHAAAAAAAAA? Since when did I grow up?

"I'm an asshole and proud of it!"

This is a true representation of American suburbia. And it scares me.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond

any experience,your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near



your slightest look will easily unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose



or if your wish be to close me, i and

my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility:whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing



(i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens;only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands


-e. e. cummings

Reviewing Some Books P. One

I recently read the quintessential biography on Zelda Fitzgerald, the aptly named ZELDA. All I had known prior to reading was that Zelda A) Was Fitzgerald's wife, and he was madly in love with her and that B)She went insane. I completely thought of her as the victim of cruel fate, some romantic idealized figure. Then I read ZELDA, and I was like, "Wow, this bitch is crazy."

Because she really was. I mean,she did go insane. But so did everyone else. What I mean is, Zelda in her youth reminds me of this girl I know who is not only completely insane, but a real sociopath. She exhibits the same behaviors. They both contain an inability to form real lasting friendships, they both crave attention, and are really annoying.

So all those traits irked me, and I hated Zelda, just as I really dislike this girl. Ok.

Then when she went batshit insane I felt really bad for her, and I saw how truly unhappy she was underneath all the partying. Scott and Zelda were both selfish and self-absorbed people, and their relationship truly can be considered

the best love hate relationship

ever

more later.

Blake on AI is Hawwtt

I'd actually buy anything Blake Lewis puts out. This is the first time I've ever really liked anyone on Idol. I mean, last year I liked Taylor just because I hated Katherine McPhee. The season before that I kind of liked Bo. Before that I really didn't give a shit.
BUT THIS YEAR I GIVE A SHIT.

And that shit is Blake Lewis. I'd really like him to go far. Do I want him to win? NO. I don't want Idol to own his soul. I want him to get like runner up or third place.

SANJAY had better win.

Sooo...

SOOOO....

American Idol last night was truly surreal.

From Lulu's craziness, to Chris Sligh's shout outs to VFTW, to Ryan's inappropriate hand gestures, to that crazy crying girl-

WTF??

Why was that girl crying? I saw her, and thought, "Oh, that girl must have cancer and they brought her to see Idol. Good for her, I hope she's having fun." BUT GUESS WHAT???? She cried during the whole thing. She wouldn't stop. It stopped being CUTE, and became very scary. Because that girl seems emotionally disturbed. I have been to some emotional concerts before, and trust me, I have never sobbed like that little girl.

I'm thinking she was a plant by the producers somehow??? IDK.

BLAKE IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting Thing I Found

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

At Least I'm Selfish

On second thought, at least I'm in the present NOW and won't have to deal with the shit my descendants do. Oh my gosh, guys, I'm sorry things are so messed up on this planet and in this nation. Just remember the great things America has brought into the world: The Lost Generation, Bob Dylan, and The X-Files and Afterschool Specials. Hold onto that. HOLD. ON. TO. THAT.

An open letter to my descendants:

I don't know what the world will be like when you are living, but I am guessing that if I were around I would hate it. Here are some words I want you to live by:

1. Enjoy sleeping- Get a good night's rest so you'll be ready for the Nuclear Holocaust.

2. Try To Develop Cultural Identity- Look in the mirror, my probably brown by now descendents. I know you're Mexican, but if you're pale like I am (or was) , pick a random European culture to pretend you are. Base everything off your color.

3. Read The Great Gatsby- Just because it's so great.

4. Always Carry Toothpaste- Toothpaste is not only helpful for your smile, but for your skin since the baking soda will shrink your zits.

5. Never Trust Government- Even if the future holds a great idealistic, happy government with seemingly NO problems, don't trust them because sooner or later something shitty will happen and it'll all just go back to the beginning.

6. Listen To Great Music- I know you are probably heartless zombies by now, but please listen to some good music for your great great great great great great grandma, k, children? It'll melt your heart and make your robotic soul cry.

7. Be Patient- If you're like me, and are mostly fiery Irish and have a bitchy streak, learn some patience, laddie/lassie. Don't worry if you seem like the only one who didn't sprout wings as a result of that freaky nuclear waste spill. Maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to be as unfortunate as your friends.

8. Take Some Advice From A Great Grandmom- MOVE OUT OF THE COUNTRY! LEAVE! GO TO NORWAY! MOVE TO NORWAY!

I'm Scared

America is a nation made up of many descendants of immigrants. Even though most people are of mixed heritage, I think it's safe to say that Americans have a cultural heritage and tradition. Because in the grand scope of things, we're new Americans. Look at me, for example. What am I, third/fourth generation American? Now imagine years from now where 74th generation Americans will be walking around.

And what happens then? With the passage of time, will my descendants have no cultural heritage, with the exception of the weird adaption of Americana? Is it true that the more further and further away we get from our roots, the less identity we have? I can't imagine my grandchildren NOT using Italian American slang and making gnocchi and broccoli rabe. And I can't imagine my grandchildren NOT tearing up when they hear a bagpipe and getting all patriotic and shit about the beautiful country that is Scotland, and I can't imagine them NOT enjoying fried pizza and fried animal innards.

What is going to happen?? Americans will just morph into this one scary race of ppl with no cultural identity but what's on television. WELCOME TO AMERICA.

a surge of confidence

on second thought, no laura, it wasn't stupid to take those courses.

because you are invinsible.

seriously. i am smart. and i can do anything. because i'm laura fiorelli, i'm scottish AND italian. that's the greatest combo ever. and marcello mastroianni is my hot hot dead boyfriend and we rock out.

suckkeerrs

A Sad Day For Me

Well, kinda.

You see, my beloved Non Lips forum has completely fallen apart due to incompetent moderators and a lot of paranoid weird under the surface conspiracies against certain people. It makes me sad. Lots of people who have cheered me up on a regular basis for two whole years are leaving. :-(

I think I'll go watch some YOUTUBE To Catch A Predator and cheer myself up.

BTW- Was it dumb of me to sign up for THREE APs next year?

Laura Talks About 8 1/2

If you've never seen 8 1/2, you are not a complete and full human being.

I know how pretentious that sounds.

But it's actually true.

No film encompasses the human experience as much as 8 1/2. It is a gorgeous, gorgeous film. I mean, wow. Utterly speechless. I remember watching it on my portable DVD player at one in the morning, the only light coming from the screen.

It's an experience.

Watch This

Um, My Bad

Wow, how did I not write about how amazingly attractive Alex Kapranos is in that Franz Ferdinand video I posted?? Ummm, hello!!!!!!!!

Principal ButtSavage

Even though I'm not coughing anymore, I totally feel like the seasonal allergies are beginning. My eyes hurt, and are all watery and stuff.

Don't want to go to school tomorrow. Didn't study, didn't write my novel for creative writing, didn't do my math hw! IT'S SPRING!!!

"You Got Friends, Maaaa"

I feel like I know Jared Leto. I have said this before; but if there's past lives we were somehow connected. I've always been like, 'oh, yeah, Jared Leto', and the lightbulb that signifies familarity (SP?) would pop up. Because somehow I know Jared Leto.

And let me say he is the biggest douche. I mean, he's Jared Leto. Have you ever SEEN a 30 Seconds to Mars video? That's enough proof of his douche-ness right there. Then, combined with breaking his nose in a stagedive since his fans didn't even bother to catch him, and the fact that he's 36 years old and singing anthems for twelve year olds, it's like an extra mega douche dosage. You know what's funny though? He did ok in Requiem for a Dream, as well as his cute little butt. "Oh, my fucking arm!" But whatever. He's weird though. And you know what? I looooove weird people. I am a weird person. I respect weird people, even in Hollywood (except Tom Cruise, but that's another story). So Jared Leto has to be a huuuuge douche for me to dislike him because of his weirdness. He just gives off this odd unlikeable aura.

Oh my gosh, chances are I'll probably marry him or something stupid like that, due to this post.

Tell Her Tonight

No one rocks it out like Scottish men. Really.

Conclusions

1. Naked people are scary unless they're tall. Let's all bow to the supreme race!
2. Nicky is the prettiest member of Manic Street Preaches OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG . It's hard to be the only fan that isn't in love with Richey, because he's freaking EVERYWHERE. He didn't even play the guitar. He was just THERE. Writing lyrics and cutting himself. What about NICKY????
3. My sister- she is Number Four Prostitute in all of Kahzakstan!!!

HE CALLED THE SHIT POOP!!

Whenever I'm home sick, I rent what I am considering to be the greatest movie ever made. That is Billy Madison. Nothing compares to it.
It is complete genius. It is utter randomness, and in no point in this rambling, incoherent film does it come even close to a rational thought. May God have mercy on it's soul.

Lost Sucks

In case you haven't noticed, Lost has jumped the shark. Lost made a mad dash across this watery animal i think two episodes ago, whereupon I lost all hope. We were promised THREE VERY IMPORTANT ANSWERS. And all we got was Jack cavorting with some Korean whore. Love you long time. Anyway, Lost has fallen victim to its extraneous plot lines. No longer is the viewer even remotely interested. I realized that Lost had completely lost its flavour when I went to bed right after Idol last week without even THINKING about Lost. And the next day when I realized what I had done, I texted two of my Lost buddies what the episode was about. One replied:

Hurley found a VW bus with a dead guy in it. I watched the first ten minutes and then turned it off. IT SUCKED.

And the next:

Basically the most boring uneventful episode ever.

Therefore, I retract my love of Lost. This show is a disgrace. The X-Files are officially my favorite show ever. If Mulder and Scully were on the island, they'd kick everyone's ass and be off the island in no time.

X FILES > YOU

gy (that is what came up when my head hit the keyboard)

OH, Manic Street Preachers. Nicky you were sort of dreamy. You used to spray paint phrases like, "Culture Slut" and "Dead Whore" on white t-shirts and raid your baby sister's dress up bin. Now you shop exclusively at the Gap. You guys are all very exciting and literate, and I love you. If anyone tells you that Lifeblood sucked, or that the band went downhill when Richey disappeared, tell them to suck it. I'll beat them up for you. You are my boyz.

Today I asked myself what ATP was a lot, I tried walking in my shoes with the four inch heels, and even though I looked "HOT H-O-T HOT" I couldn't freaking stop walking like a gazelle stuffed in high heels. That's not a good thing. At one point I thought these girls were laughing at me. Then they were bumped into me by accident and said in a totally nonsarcastic way, "OH sorry- hey, hot shoes!" So whatever.

Respect Your Nan

I'm sick with a fever and a sore throat. It's really bad. Last night I stayed up watching Fargo in bed. Then I went to school to fail the science Hespa. Then myself and my friend who is sick with the same thing I have went to the nurse, whereupon she yelled at us for even coming to school. So here I am now. At home. I'm going to the Hot Dr. in two hours.

Banning The N Word

New York is banning the N word. But don't freak out, dear reader- You can still walk down 84th to Ollie's, spitting, "Hey, what's up my Niggers?" Because this ban has no penalty. This is by far doublegood. Nothing like a 1984-esque environment to infringe upon our freedom of speech.

Anyway, I'm going shopping tomorrow, and getting ready for the spring fashions. I'm going to sleep late, and even later Saturday. I think I'll go and read a book now.

I Saved Latin; What Did You Do?

I miss spring.

No, don't get all freaked out- I still love sweaters and winters and afghans and tea and crap. But I just want to wear flip flops to school, and work on my Spring/Summer 2007 wardrobe. Oh, man. That sounds conceited. But truly; I love fashion. From an aesthetic/artsy pov. After all, I AM taking sewing lessons.

As a middle school-er, I would have been very surprised to see myself as I am now, in junior year. Look at how I've changed.

How I've Changed

1. I Am Not A Hippy- I still love San Francisco, and The Beatles, but I think it's silly to classify yourself. After all, I am such a Post Modernist Hipster now.

2. I Like Rap- Here's the deal. In the weight room the guys listen to hip hop, and I like it. It's fun, it's stupid, it's catchy. F you.

3. I Don't Like Long Hair- I don't like long hair on guys. This is sort of connected to number one. I think there's only one guy with long hair that I think is attractive, and that is my husband, Jason Schwartzman. Because he can pull that off. Most guys can't.

4. I Like Clothes- I have become very focused on fashion, footwear, and handbags within the last year. I don't know why. Maybe it's because to me fashion is an extended form of self expression.

5. I Sleep- I friggin' sleep. A lot. I can sleep ten hours plus. I don't know why. I like to be awake for like twelve hours, so I can spend the rest of the day in bed, dreaming.

6. Um, I look different. Plus, I gained like fifteen pounds. I remember being like 115 lbs. and thinking I was fat. Damn.

7. Der, I got smarter- I used to be bad at math.


OK, how I've NOT changed

1. As my aunt told me the other day, I have very Italian political beliefs. Which is basically saying that I'm a fascist anarchist or something, because those bitches are crazy. Wiki their gov. I am not an anarchist though. See, everyone knows those kids who think they are anarchists and cool and junk, and I call them out every single day. I suppose what I mean is that I've always been a free thinker when it comes to socio-political ish. I just think I'm more educated now than I was in middle school.

2. David Duchovny is still hot. See, he was my first celebrity crush. And after all these years, I can still safely say that the Duch-ster is on my top five. Top three, actually. Believe it or not, I've been liking Mulder since I was eight years old because I'm awesomely awesome.

3. I still have a weird sense of humor, and I still think Being John Malkovich is a kick ass movie.


All in all, I can safely say that although I have respect for my former self, I am much more comfortable with myself NOW. I like who I am. Check it.

Hey, Folks

Well, I haven't posted in a while because I've been very occupied, and I also hate the New Google/Blogger thing. It gives me a lot of issues signing in.

I married Jason Schwartzman, and I'm going shopping Friday.

I Got My Snow Day

I got my snow day. I watched Pride and Prejudice and made four perogies.

The school got a new edition of Internet Explorer. Where are the tabs? Assholes.

Anna Nicole Smith Died

Anna Nicole Smith died, and I feel very sad for this person who had such a miserable life.

Life's a bitch.

"Aprire". PUREE??

Today I was sitting around, just being myself, when my friend asked me when I had gotten so cool.

"What are you talking about?"
"I always thought you were a bit of a nerd, but the past few weeks I've come to know the real you."
(My general reaction being WTF, I'm still the same)

it's funny how ppl think i'm a total nerd until they get to know me as the trash talkin', wise crackin'"fiery Irish biotch". With nerdish tendencies. Whatever.

Then we were talking about how the first week of school this year I got at least five comments like,

"WOW! You look so different than last year! You're attractive!"

Gee, thanks! It's good to know I'm an example of an ugly duckling story.

"Well, guys are douches," he tells me. Then, "Especially that one," pointing to the gay black Junior who shaved off his eyebrows and has a bad Jerri Curl.

"That's true, that's true.'

I've also gotten, "Wow, last year you were just like, I'm little Laura and this year you're all bom chicka bom bom."

Well, maybe I'm "bom chicka bom bom" because this year I'm not sick as Hell, and I'm not giving birth to kidney stone babies. That puts a damper on your personality.

I'm writing this facing a really hot guy in the library at school. The tension is palpable. Ok, well at least for me it is. He's so funny, and slightly fey in that weird Franz Ferdinand gay way. He's like one of the smartest guys at school.

What else can I write about? Let's think................. Nah, I can't really think of anything else. Um, I'm reading David Eggers' "You Shall Know Our Velocity!" which of course garners much attention from my illiterate peers who read, "You Shall Know Our- what??", bending their heads over to see the title.

"Our Velocity. It's about these two guys who travel the world, giving millions of dollars out to people. But it's not really that sappy."

"Oh, ok. Sounds cool."

I wrote a story yesterday in creative writing and the opening line was, "All this had happened after I lost my job, got mugged in Mexico, and buried my wife in the parking lot of the Holiday Inn." There was an odd silence and Max said, "OHH SHIT" and everyone laughed. Well, I channel weirdness in my writing. I don't write stories about boring people with boring problems. I mean, I think about the stories I've actually completely written and finished,

and they're about dysfunction, Eraserhead, and shoplifting,

as opposed to random ish that people write.

I don't think I'm a good poet, because everytime I hold the pen with the intention of writing a poem, my mind overflows with lyrics that I wish I had written, lyrics that I can't write.

"Eleanor, put your boots back on..."
"You're dreaming of the one you really love..."
"Another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken.."
"Six months on, the winter's gone and this enchanted pony..."
"Smack my bitch up" (JK)
"There's a world outside, and I know cuz I've heard talk."

I can't live up to that. There's nothing I could possibly write or possibly say that is as good as the above aforementioned, and nothing I write could ever live up to its significance.

(Take a fifteen minute break, make some latkes, return to the blog)

In my neverending quest to find a wedding song, I ask myself: Why are the most romantic songs so sad? Take the music No Distance Left to Run. Beautiful. It's great. I want to dance to it. But it's so anti-romance.

So the real question I must answer is WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE LOVE SONG?? It must lack cliche, but musn't have dark undertones like every other song. It needs to be happy. It needs to be perfect. Why is it so hard to find??

Live Forever

Because sometimes all you want to do is scream, "You and I are gonna live forever!" at the top of your lungs and swear by Oasis. If Live Forever was remotely danceable and related to love, it'd be my wedding song.
**
We lost Mock Trial today, even though I think we won. Our team was very good. We kind of kicked CBA's ass. But oh well.

**
My sewing lessons ROCKED xcore! I love that kind of stuff. Truly, there's nothing I like more then just relaxing and creating things and using the sewing peddle.

Katrina and Stephen.

i'm researching the scottish isles for my next trip, and i have to tell you- while it's beautiful, it absolutely overwhelms me. And scares me at the same time. They're so weird up there, it's like a whole 'nother world. I guess you can tell this is a girl whose family is from Motherwell.

Love It's Getting Better

::Leaving This Island::

As I sit listening to the pastels i realize I really fully do miss Scotland. I want to go back AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. It's just the most beautiful country in the world. Forget Italy, forget Austria- Scotland is absolutely gorgeous.

it's monday

Oh, Blogger, I hate the new Google thing.

Hello all. I can't really say much is up except I have Uggs, some banging new skirts, and a new and improved enthusiasm for school. Plus, I got the highest grade on my Lab Forensics midterm in my class. It snowed last night and Scooter from Beauty and the Geek is really cute. I'm taking classes this Sunday and learning how to make A PLEATED SKIRT.

I talked a lot to a certain cutie today. And started my Creative Writing class. I walked into the wrong class though, at first. I was like, OH LORD. Then I called a boy stupid and he was like, "Who me?" And I was like, YOUR MOTHER. jk.

"Lay off my man, you honky BIOTCH"

When the going gets tough, the stressed,tired, and cold tough gets going, bitches.

A bunch of girls got into another fight today at school. I could really never do that...knock someone out. EXCEPT in certain circumstances and today I was dangerously close to doing so.

It's That Time Again

Well, as your resident Geek I have to tell you that I've been a total Book Worm lately. I'm still reading that book on Freud (and THAT will be a fun review, I tell you), but recently, in between studying my ass off, I managed to read some fun Chick Lit.

OUTER BANKS
By who? I don't know, I think it's Anne River Siddons. Or something. ANYWAY- this is a pretty addicting read. At about four hundred pages, Outer Banks is a tale of a rather annoying forty-something who can't get over the fact that

A) She will die one day. (Thus, a lot of chapters about the cancerous "Pacmen" cells.

B) Her mother is a crazy Born Again Christian.

c) Her first love and first Native American friend, Paul, left her for her best friend Ginger, that floosy.

Obviously, Kate has a lot of issues; on a more serious note, she's still mourning the loss of her five year old son, and she dangerously dangles over the "Abyss" (Cue sad music).

Anyway, Kate goes back to the Outer Banks for a reunion with her three best friends from her old college days. Why, I have no idea. She only really liked one of them. The other stole her boyfriend, and the other was a total oddball turned rich trashy romance author. (Note: Trashy romance novels are fun).

So, while at the Outer Banks, Kate gets drunk, sings a lot of songs, gets even more drunk, and- REUNITES WITH HER OLD LOVE, PAUL! Faceless Paul!! (My friend Nikki and I both found that while all the characters looked like real people in our eyes, Paul had no face.) So while Kate runs away in the middle of a hurricane to hook up with Paul in a motel, Fig (the friend no one really liked) stalks her and at the last minute shoots the only likeable friend in the chest before shooting HERSELF.

Let me tell you. This is the most addicting and ridiculous book I have ever read, and I give it FIVE THOUSAND MAJILLION STARS.

RANDOM THOUGHT

1. Today, my friend told me that Max and Britney and I remind him of the Breakfast Club. How, I don't know. But anyway- he called me the Basket Case. Mind you, this is the third person to make that connection with me before. Many a time have I been called The BasketCase girl. Even though I can guarantee that I'm saner then that bitch.

So I said to my teacher, "Is it an insult if someone called me The BasketCase from the Breakfast Club?"

He thinks.

"Is that Ally Shedy?"
"Yes."
"Well, no, because she's cute."

AND GUYS- He literally said she was cute at least five times. No exaggeration there. Scary case of being hit on. You had to be there, it was awkward. I guess he was a huge Brat Pack fan or something.

BasketCase > The Princess

Letter to Blair Hornstine

Dear Blair,
I know not where you are, where you ended up going to college. Nor do I know if you really did have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (The coolest disease ever, due to my boyfriend Stuart Murdoch from Belle and Sebastian), or if you are really a stupid, senseless, cruel and heartless biotch. Or maybe your parents are just the biotches. Whatever the case, you are rich. I am not. You certainly came off as a rich spoiled American Princess. And I'm just ballin'.


(((This girl's story still amazes me to this day)))

HEEY

I think I'm going to get David Gahan to sing at my wedding.

My English final was easy.

One thing Crest White Strips doesn't tell you is that it burns.

sweetshop avengers

Sometimes I think I'd like Bis a lot better if it was just male vocals. It's a lot better than listening to that girl bark all the time.

What Happens To A Brain That's Been Fried?

I have studied. So much. Today.

And I'm not even done yet.

How do overachieving Asian math majors at Rutgers do it?

In other news. No. There isn't even other news. I'm just totally BOMBED right now. Nothing is going on. Except my brain is working overtime. Iodine fuming. Linear equations. Pathology. X and Y coordinates.

Tomorrow: Serology, and Chapter Three in my math textbook (I don't even know what that is), American Lit notes, and whatever happened after the Guilded Age.

Today: The Guilded Age.

AHHHHH

I Never Thought I'd Be One of Those Girls...

..whose hair falls out when she's stressed.

Actually, it's more of just a bad hair week. Maybe I'm using the wrong shampoo or something. But I'm realizing, little by little, that I am probably the most stressed person I know right now and it's taking a toll on my whole face. Except my GUNS.

Overnight, it seems, I have really toned arms. I don't even have to flex to make the muscles. Y-eah.

In other news, I've been analyzing my dreams ala Freud and all I have to say is, I'm pretty weird.

I want everyone right now to go to the Blog, Smart Bitches Trashy Books (or whatever it's called). It's kept me laughing for the past...day?

Today I tried on a pair of Uggs, and this little girl comes up to me, and says, "Those are my shoes." I wanted to cry. I imagined myself as the little girl. I'd be mortified if this big pimply teenager tried on my Uggs. Damn, imagine being seven and having Uggs.


Thoughts

1. Could Wilco be the best American band? Yes.
2. Could Wilco be the best band? Yes.
2 1/2. Could Jeff Tweedy Yankee Hotel Foxtrot era be the most gorgeous Indie rock God ever? Yes. It is a proven fact.
3. Will Matawan win Mock Trial in two weeks? No. :-(
4. Will Laura go home and become a Born Again Christian, according to her Fundamentalist history teacher? HELL NO.
5. Will Laura burn during the summer of 2007? Yes.
6. Will Morrissey tour the US this year? Yes.
7. Will Laura get onstage? Yes.
8. Will Laura become the girl from My Life With Morrissey? ...hopefully not.
9. Will Laura pass all of the midterms with flying colors? The world may never know.

meh

as a slightly competent seventeen year old, i have so many responsibilities and things to be worrying about. I mean, i have midterms next week, the sat in march, three-four ap tests in the near future, and the hespa.

but i want to get started on an addiction.

I WANT TO READ STUPID ROMANCE NOVELS.

I want some predictable plotlines, I want some less than intelligent characters, and I want to give up the Balzac and the Proust for something FUN.

like fabio ???

American Idol Season Six Premiere Review

Well, last night I tuned in with my fellow Americans and watched the first episode of American Idol. The episode showed the audition process in Minneapolis (I think?). Of course, there wasn't any real talent, and tons of weirdos showed up, like the Amish Guy and the Cowardly Lion girl. All in all, only a few people were accepted, among them, a sixteen year old "crack baby". Paula Abdul looked under the influence SEVERAL times, Simon was flabbergasted and sarcastic, and Randy was just Randy. Jewel, the guest judge, was an ice cold bitch who crushed the hopes and dreams of her biggest fan in the first few minutes of the program; a definite disturbing way of starting the show.
*********************************
That's life, everyone. I've never been so busy with all my shit at school. Today after rehersal- I'm going to write two more paragraphs on my essay on CREATIONISM VS. EVOLUTION. Then, I'm going to study some of Chapter Two in my math textbook, and read more of my English BC THAT'S THE FIRST FINAL I HAVE!! Then, on the bike, I'm going to multitask- look over my digital photo notes, and read the first chapter of my forensic textbook.

Then just f that, because I'm going to look through the notes. There's no way I'm going to read the whole book.

********************************

Then, I'll watch IDOL, and read some more of FREUD, because it roxxxxxxxx

Ramapo=Inbreds!!!

Hello, all. Today was my birthday. I got seventeen birthday hugs from BARBS and Clueless on DVD, as well as UGGS. YEEEEEEEES. I want to be a part of the human race! Woo!!

In other news- I found the projects I want to work on for next Christmas.

Tonight American Idol begins. As you can expect, I will be definitely doing in depth reviews and critiques of the show. Y-eah.

A Dream

I dreamt we were going down to the shore. For a month. But it was so last minute that I was literally shoving items of clothing into my suitcase. I begged my Mom to let me go to Barnes and Noble. I wanted to pick up a stupid romance novel, one with Fabio on the cover or something. So on the way to Bayville she dropped me off. BTW, it was literally 100 degrees. (A foreshadow of things to come, since scientists say this summer is going to be the HOTTEST EVER. Not the hottest in ten years, or whatever- BUT EVER.)

Anyway, I walked in and everything was totally different. I could hardly find any books, there were CDs and treadmills everywhere.

*/*/*

I miss summer '06. It was fun. I listened to a lot of Smiths and wore a lot of board shorts.

Wow, A Computer and a New Car!

Wow, a computer and a new car!

Anyways, this week has been stressful like no other. There was lots of good and lots of not so goods/frustrating hw. But I'm happy to say that on Saturday I am going to eat lots and lots of lomaine, and be like, yeeah.

Mr. Milan- please please please please please please please let the test be easy tomorrow. Your tests are the balls. I'd love to see an easy one.

On that note, let me go study

Pork Fried Rice

One of the things I love about Matawan is its sense of comraderie. (SP?) Really, it's true. In Middle School things were all about cliques and who was a nerd and who was popular. In High School no one gives a crap. We're all friends. We all played Mortal Kombat when we were young, and we all hated Mr. Beadle.

And in life, that's all that really matters.

Still, I'm going to be happy to go to college and meet new people and see new things and start over. I think Psych is looking really strong as my major right now; I love psych. Psych is perfect for me because I'm curious by nature and I read "Sybil" when I was twelve years old. For real. If that's not Freud in the making, I don't know what.

Time Doesn't Exist

Time doesn't exist. I tell myself that when I wonder if there's still time to get to know ___ or have fate be extra nice with sugar on top to us. Time is, after all, a figment of our imagination. Well not exactly. Time is relative. Time is like a dream. What seems like an interlude now could be the beginning of love.

LOL That's Morrissey and Nancy Sinatra, sry.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_2Xptbc8i8



Then again, what is f8? f8 is this crazy thing that is probably less possible than time. I spend so much hoping everyone's f8 is gr8. i want some gr8 f8 2, plzz!! lolzz rotfl!!

Love, Laura (who really wants a boyfriend)

Chinese Food and Ginger Cookies

Today I woke up realizing that this week was going to be the balls. It's that time of the month where I crave Chinese food and ginger cookies. It's also that time of the month where I get really tired and lazy.

Just throw her off the bridge, and toss her in the bree/She's coming in between us/You know the girl I mean/It's hard when you live across the sea/But one day I know you'll be mine/

RIGHT NOW- youtube.com. Search: Pam Berry Black Tambourine.

*/*/*/*/

In soviet Russia, they put tabs ON YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, O RLY???!!!

I HAVE COLITIS!!

I don't think I've ever been so happy to have colitis, guys! Yeees!

OOOOK

Ok. I don't think my Scottish accent sounds Irish, everybody.

I had the weirdest dream. My Italian and Forensics class was camping out in my room, by the light of my I-Pod radio (which makes an odd humming noise, btw). So obviously it was very crowded. I was the lucky one and got to sleep in my own bed, haha.

It reminded me of The Smiths lyric, I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice.

I want to buy something, so now I'm going to shop EBAY and see what clothes I can get that can fit my bustline, because I have a freaking huge back

In Digital Photo....

Heeey.

Listening to: Plainsong, by The Cure on the Marie Antoinette Soundtrack.

I just want a snowday!! I want to stay in the house and be comfortable all day, and do nothing but watch Strangers With Candy and read, and STITCH. Ahh I'm so far behind. I finished my bagpipe one, hehehe, it's so cute!! I still have to do that stupid Harvest thing, though. Wow I should probably take a break and pick it up next year or something.

I'm listening to PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. That's the FIRST Depeche Mode song I ever heard! I loved it! I was like, These gay guys are AWESOME! But guess what? Depeche Mode isn't gay. They're just possibly the gayest band ever.

Funny

"Oscar Wilde was a fat bitch and so is our Moz."

LOL Rotflcopter.

Updates

Heey. Haven't written anything in a while, because I've been terribly busy.

Christmas was a lot of fun, and Cape May was perfect, except for the fact that I caught a cold and didn't get a wink of sleep since the house was haunted by a ghost that was out to get me and Chris.

I think I've made up my mind that David Gahan is the best singer EVERRRR period.

A Walk Through Depeche Mode's History



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rddbXZX154
Kinda funny how innocent and cute they used to be. Tora Tora

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzLrTsZrwhs
I love this song! Can I just say that I was the hippest twelve year old ever? I seriously listened to this song everyday going to school in seventh grade.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKGhl-rC3No
Then they fast forwarded to all the pain that excess brings. Dave is really gorgeous in this video, though. Heroin did wonders for his face, and I'm not kidding, either.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBm_f5RCBec
Then Dave cleaned up! YAY! Now he's healthy, probably happy(er?), and better looking than ever. Go, Dave!

The Depeche Mode concert was the shiz, too. Such a good show.

I miss it lol

You're the Man Now Dog

There's a kid I know who I will call Tyler Pickle, for anonymity's sake. He is a soph, and pretty out there but in that totally cool "I know more about Leroy Jenkins than you do" way. In fact, he was listening to rap today, and this girl was rapping about Boba Fett, and weird stuff.

This kid is awesome.

At one point, his friend was playing Runescape, and when our teacher asked what it was, he said, "Why, it's Runescape- only the hottest game on the net right now." I love it; it's like he's so self-deprecating about his nerdiness.
****************************************************

Sean Connery was really such a good looking guy. I love him. My Italian teacher and I both agree, Sean Connery, as a seventy year old man, is still mad attractive. Sneh's like, "But he's hairy!!!" That's true. But he's Scottish.


****************************************************
Dear JK Rowling,
Even though I stopped reading at book number four or so, I really have a lot of respect for you. You're a huge Morrissey fan, you live in Scotland, and you seem to be a very interesting, compassionate, and funny person. We'd be friends, in that total Italian Teacher/ Student way. Except you're an author. But anyway, I applaud you for your dedication to the Harry Potter series. Those books are mad long. You have a lot of patience. However, I have to admit that the title of the seventh book (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I almost choked on my saliva when I heard that was the name. I thought, "Wow, I got to check that out on Snopes.com" and much to my surprise, it isn't an Internet Rumor; it's the truth.

Jk Rowling, you are a sane member of our planet Earth, but in naming the final installment of your biggest achievement "Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows", you lose some cred. Fix this problem. To help you out, I've created some great ideas you should consider seriously.

1) Harry Potter and the Ravages of Acne- Acne is extremely powerful in any teenager's life; even Voldemort wouldn't stand a chance against cystic acne. And who knows if you guys have Proactive??

2) Harry Potter and the Annoying Seven Movies- Wow, the fact that they keep on coming out with Harry Potter movies makes me want to chew my teeth.

3) Harry Potter and the Question of Sexuality- There's got to be someone gay at Hogwarts.

No, but really, I like Harry Potter. Just not like that one girl who wears wizards' robes and lives on those jelly beans and is constantly re-reading books 1-6. And not like the girl who signs her papers, Liz Malfoy

gfs

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/56628

I'm trying to learn German, btw. It's so difficult. I can't even form the sounds right. Glue-click vin-dacht-tin. Merry Xmas!

Stuff I Forgot To Say

Oh, and don't tell me you've studied Catholicism. Anyone who has studied Catholicism wouldn't have been even ATTEMPTING to make the point this boy was trying to get across; if you have studied Catholicism, you'd know that Catholics don't worship Mary.

The truth is, we just have mad respect. Like Ms. N and I were saying, she had to be a very special person to be conceived without original sin, and to be blessed with bearing the Son of God. She's not this average, everyday human vessel.

But whatever- Che significa? They're not going to change their minds. And I don't want to. Just don't smack that Bible at me.

I guess this is a very appropriate post, since Christmas is in only four days. I think that there is this religious stigma in society today; that you can't be a cool person, or even a good person, if you have some religious belief. I don't think that's true. I think you can be a learned individual and understanding and kind, and believe in an organized, established religon. It all basically comes down to that, and I believe you can go ahead and do whatever you want.

I'm baking cookies now. Have a good day!

How Could Mary Be a Virgin blah blah blah

Jesus has been the talk of the town all over my high school, and ignorant annoying kids who think they're so hip and anti-establishment keep saying, "How could Mary be a virgin if she gave birth to Jesus?"

Ok. It's a good question, right? I mean, anyone in their right mind would ask that. But how the Hell do you NOT know the Christmas story after being alive on this Earth for fifteen years? I keep explaining to people, Christian, Muslim, atheist, agnostic, whatever- that Mary was a virgin when she, through God's intercession, became pregnant with Jesus Christ. And everyone's like, "Oh, wait so God had sex with Mary-"

That's when I slap a bitch.

I'm a mad Catholic this week. Really. I'm a very understanding person, and I'm in no way conservative or fundamentalist- but bitches need to stop being so stupid, and pick up a book or at least listen to programs on the Discovery Channel. Do you REALLY REALLY freaking believe that I'm going to tell you, "Yes, God had sex with Mary. That's why she was a Virgin." Um, no.

My friend who is interested in religion is reading all about Christianity. She's very interested in Mary; Both Jesus' mom, and Mary Magdalene. She asked, "Was Mary always a virgin?" And I began to tell her about how Catholics and other denominations would have different answers, and how Protestants would say, No, Jesus had brothers blah blah blah blah blah, and that Catholics would say, No, Mary was a Virgin blah blah blah blah blah when Mr. Jehovah's Witness and Bible Belt Christian completely interrupt me and never give me a chance to speak.

I was totally going to give her a fair and unbiased answer, and cover all the bases, too.

Fundamentalist Christians are insane. Stop telling me and my Italian teacher that we worship Mary, and that we're going to Hell. No. We're not; and we don't worship Mary, suckas. BTW- Mary is totally spearing all the Fundamentalist Christians in that picture above. She's mad that they spread lies and bias to good people who have some honest questions and want some general answers.

Mary is every Italian's homegirl.

Yesterday

Yesterday, after watching Trouffaut's "The 400 Blows", I was so tired and cold, I crawled into bed to watch some of the commentary and to close my eyes for ten minutes. I must've fallen asleep, because my mom woke me up at 8:00 PM to ask if I wanted to watch my tv program.

"I fell asleep!" I moaned, groggily. "Ten more minutes."

When I opened my eyes, I was in the same position, staring at the wall, and it was very dark outside. The lights in the house were all out. I looked at my cell, and it was 1:40 in the morning. I went downstairs, got a glass of water, and fell back asleep. I woke up at six o' clock. Y-eah.

Randomness

What amazes me about Morrissey is that here's this man singing about isolation and feeling alienated, alone, and different. According to Morrissey, he's "never had no one ever". And he's "the world's ugliest man". Yet he's reached so many people through his music. While he sings about being alone, he's got millions of people who love him and feel that he's the most gorgeous man, inside and out. It's ironic, I guess; He might have felt like he was mad alone, but he's got so many fans, Mexicans and non-Mexicans, who just looooooooove him.

I think that there needs to be a talkshow where someone, preferably moi, speaks to assholes like Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, and Republicans and avoids "civilized" conversations. Instead, I'd pull a Barry Gibb Talk Show.

Christmas is in six days. I'm really excited. I can't wait for Friday into Saturday, because I'm SLEEPING!! my way, which is a total of thirteen hours. Y-eah.

THE HAPPINESS

Christmas is in six days.
I'm watching Cinema Paradiso in Italian for the rest of the week.
I'm baking cookies Thursday.


THE SADNESS

Thinking about them just makes me miss Scotland more.
I have "ugly" hair
I eat when I'm not hungry, and feel fat.

part deux

well, i mentioned before how i had seen santa twice. i told you all about my adventures with santa below, because that was the most insanely awesome experience i had. the other one was slightly less awesome, so i won't really bother to tell u about it except i looked up in the sky and saw rudolph.

guys, i'm going to make a list of reasons why i hate george w. bush. stay tuned.

santa is alive and well

I was upset when I finally faced the truth and realized that a big fat man in a red suit didn't break into my house every early Christmas morning to deliver Barbies and TY Beanie Babies that he supposedly made in his "factory". I always doubted the factory part of the Santa Myth, btw. I was a smart kid; I knew there was no way Mattell was some dinky cabin in the North Pole filled with Mexican worker Elves. I always thought that Santa had a trust with all the toy companies; they probably just shared stocks, and shipped half their products to the North Pole, I mean, C'MON.

But I DID believe in Santa. I truly did. Because I saw him twice. Contrary to the factory ordeal, I was a good kid that really did believe every part of the Santa myth. I knew that Santa could land on my rooftop, and snap his fingers and end up in my house. I knew that Santa had to be real.

One time, I was so excited on Christmas Eve that I could hardly sleep. I woke up at around two in the morning, and sat in my bed, pondering. Should I go downstairs? Was Santa here yet? Should I wake everyone up?

Finally, I decided to summon my bravery and go downstairs. I tip-toed out of the room and walked carefully down the stairs, until I was on the bottom step. I bent over the railing, and peeked past the kitchen and into the living room, where I saw a shadowy figure underneath my Christmas tree.

My heart raced! Was it Santa? Did he see me? I quickly started to turn back, but decided I couldn't pass up this opportunity. So I looked again; the figure was still there! It wasn't my imagination. I blinked and pinched my arm; still there.

I went into the hall. Picture a little white girl with short hair and a Panda nightgown on, slowly walking to the glow of her Christmas tree, where some random stranger was arranging presents under.


"Santa?" I stopped by the end of the kitchen tile, where the kitchen setting met the carpeted living room. The man slowly turned around.

"Shhh," he said. "Don't make a sound."

Santa's voice wasn't jolly or good natured. Instead it was very harsh. In fact, he was different than I expected. He was skinny and had leathery skin and dirty hair. A swastika was carved into his forehead. On the wall he had written PIGGIES in red marker.

JK. It wasn't Charlie Manson. It was Santa.

Santa was much shorter than I expected, but he still looked like all the pictures and Coke bottles. His suit looked soft and shiny, and his beard was brushed and neat.

"Santa! Merry Christmas!"
"Why, thank you. And a Merry Christmas to you, too!" he winked. He set the last gift down, and sighed.
"I'm a hungry panda. Would you like to show me where my cookies are?"
"Of course!"

I showed Santa the plate of Low-Fat Stella Dora cookies and 2% Milk that was laying on the table. Santa sat on my chair and dunked the cookies into the glass, all the while smiling and humming to himself.

"Santa, how do you go all over the world in one night?" I asked him.
"Why, magic, of course! Plus, I have my trusty reindeer to help me."
"Ohh.."

Santa was done very quickly, and within seconds got up.

"Well, it's time to head down South. I've done all of Canada, New England, and the Great Lakes. Soon I'll be heading over to Brazil."

"Thank you for visiting. I love you, Santa!" I gave him a huge hug.

Santa smelled like alcohol. That was surprising.

"Well, I love you too, Vanessa. Off I go!" And poof, he was gone.

It didn't matter that Santa called me Vanessa, and it didn't matter that Santa reeked of beer. All that mattered to me was that I had seen Santa. And no one else did.

Sometimes I get up early and walk downstairs when it's still quite dark out on Christmas morning. I gaze at the tree and wonder, How could Santa be a fabrication, if I saw him ten years ago and even ate cookies with him?? Who is Vanessa? Would Santa be eligible for a DUI if he really was drinking that night?

Those are the true Christmas mysteries.

santa convention

today in the city there were at least two hundred men (and some women)dressed as santa clause in lincoln center. some formed conga lines, headed by a great big dancing bear, while others attempted to stand on the columns outside the ballet and take pictures of the hundreds of red and white caps. a sea of santas looks like a sea of...confusion? why were they there? some british lady yelled, "FATHER CHRISTMAS!" and pointed for her son to see. someone in passing said it was probably a santa convention, whileanother said that they were there for a huge get-together on an epic scale before they went off around the city. to do what? spread christmas cheer? i hope so.

all of a sudden, the sea of santa parted and a girl dressed in boots, white tights, and a blue tunic emerged from the crowd. on her head was a soft, felt menorah of sorts, and around her waist was a belt of plush dreidels. she was carrying bells in her hands, and gingerly walking toward the met, when she stopped, faced the crowd of on-lookers, and yelled, with lots of hutzpah,

"HAPPY HANUKKAH!!"

We all clapped and yelled for her. She turned around and shimmied back into the crowd of Santas, who were now chanting and jumping and acting generally very merry.

***

I am so Christmasy. It's true. Next school week, yeah, it's going to be crappy, i can't deny. But I am so excited for Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve is greater than Christmas Day. Christmas is just kind of like, Oh wow...While Christmas Eve is like wOoWwWWw!!!zzzz!

I remember the period of time when school was so easy that I would bring a book with me, and read at least forty pages during class. And I'd still get good grades. Now I can't do that. But this week I certainly can. CHRISTMASSS!

Settle Down Children

It's that time again, friends. No, don't get out your hunting equiptment and the map of northern Jersey- it's time to read Laura's book reviews.

Yeats' Irish Legends

Like Lewis Black, I have a respect for Ireland. Of course I've never been there, but I do know that a) the stereotype is true. they do drink. and of course, b) they don't care about healthcare.

Sounds great! Thanks, Lewis Black. But Yeats has taught me another important lesson- that the Irish are freaking weird.

THESE STORIES ARE MESSED UP. They are truly disturbing. People say that life is ducked up now, um, not really when you consider how many Irishmen were slaying, eating, and burning each other on a regular, daily basis five hundred years ago.

Still, I really enjoyed reading the legends and the poems and stuff. Give it a try. It's mad funny at times too. Irish people=intense.


Anderson Cooper's Dispatches From the Edge

Of course, reading my husband's memoirs is kind of unnecessary as we share the most intimate details of our personal, tormented lives with each other. Yet even I, the woman who darns all his socks and orders Chinese food everynight, was surprised at how much I learned about A-Coop from this book.

Anderson intermingles his early childhood memories and experiences in Darfur, New Orleans, and Sri Lanka in a way that is not only extremely personal and touching, but riveting and, dare I say it, HARROWING. The details he shares on his experiences create a sense of "I WAS THERE" in the reader. Even during the toughest parts of his life, you're reading A-Coop's story, and feeling like you're with him the whole time.

why you all got to be so ig'nant

On a sulky afternoon spent in dispute
You'll give yourself a headache, boy
So I take revenge in stories and dreaming of the time when we're on stage
"Have you seen The Loneliness Of A Middle Distance Runner?"
When he stops the race and looks aroundI left the stage"You've seen it now"
I walked to the stationI wish you follow me tonight

i'm sitting in school and i should be working on my pop culture WWI project but I'm too busy looking up lyrics. Today we're putting up our Christmas tree. Thank God. It's about time.

I'm really tired and the rest of the day will be fun fun fun until..... ITALIAN TEST!!! Ahhh!! Mi dico- Che colpo! Il cotone, la lana, e di lusso. Esclusivo. Sono triste per oggi. abbiamo casa.

confronting german heritage

today i asked my father,

"dad, where did our great great grandparents from germany come from?" I decided maybe it was time to full on confront that teensy German heritage I have been trying to deny.

"Bremerhaven."

So I googled, and I got this. Elvis spent a lot of time in Bremerhaven during the war. Bremerhaven is pretty much only known for its port, and Elvis.

what is that cheerful sound? rain falling...

on the ground.
we'll wear a jolly crown
buckle up, we're wayward bound!

***

Today I bought boots. Magnificent, these boots are made for walking boots. I'm very tired. Saturday I'm mad busy, Sunday I'm going to read more of "Emma". It's really good.

***

It's funny how Peter Pan complexes go. You say you'll never change and be a child at heart, then you realize the games you play that are awfully adult. We all learn how the world works, how to get ahead by cheating in an expedient way. Maybe it's all the mock trial I'm doing. I don't know. you know how it is. i'm not necessarily talking about totally horrible things..i mean, just the complaining and whining and races you run in everyday life

Sorry

Sorry, completely screwed up there. Anywhooo, let's commence.

1. Orbit Lemon Lime gum- This is the best gum on the planet. Forget Stride. Forget bubbilicious. Forget any minty flavors and caffeine gums you've been chewing. Lemon Lime is the best flavor known to man. End of story. 1.00

2. Mod a-line dresses. All I'm saying. 30.00+ (?)

3. Mad guns- On Barbs, on me, on Hoggie. On whomever. (Depends on the price of your gym membership, or how many hammers you use while making a spice rack)

4. Not being able to say what you really want to in dire situations, and having the words on the tip of your tongue- PRICELESS.

call me morbid, call me pale, i spent six years on your traaaail. six long years of my life on your trail

Stocking Stuffers '06 (or, The Best Of..)

The London Eye

This is the London Eye, which is the biggest ferris wheel in the world. The ride takes thirty minutes, because it is incredibly awesome. I will be on this soon, and I will look at the world and think, Wow London is gray and ugly yet so charming and British.

London Callilng

I want to go to London.

A lot.

I'm not really that interested in England, I'm just mad for London. I want to go so badly. It's got...Big Ben. Tea. A lot of old rich people. Kings. Museums.

I'm fooling myself into believing that as soon as I step off a plane and into England, it'll be like the swinging London of the mod '60's, though. IDk. But I mean, have you seen that ferris wheel? It's ginormous!!!!

walt whitman wasn't really transcendental

just wanted to say that i am still alive, just mad busy with hw.

in the pines

in the pines, in the pines where the sun don't ever shine i would shiver the whole night through.

Charlie's Theme

I think that The Pastels are probably my favorite band as of right now, in this little minute. Well, I don't know...I mean, I've just recently re-discovered their greatness. I have a total Pam Berry-esque crush on Stephen, he's just so cute in like this really pale way. but then who am I to judge??? I am a pale one after all.

This is new, haha.



RANDOM THOUGHTS

This weekend is my gramps' birthday.

I am really fit from my strength and conditioning class.

I studied really hard for Italian test. I hope I do well. I totally need the weekend.

I love Stephen McRobbie woooo