Hehe, Sorry!

You're all invited to my wedding to Anderson Cooper. I hope you all come, it's going to be super cool. We're honeymooning in Switzerland.

Wedding

You're all invited to my wedding to Anderson Cooper.

George

George Clooney has pretty much been my #2 guy for a long while. Whether he was saving lives on ER, lookin' to fornicate in "O Brother...", or just generally being George Clooney and scoring chicks, he was always my second place pick after Joaquin. (more on how that's changed later) However, I find that times have sadly changed. Granted, Clooney is extremely good looking, and he has magnetic charm and intelligence that is attractive in a person. Yes, I'd probably go crazy if I saw him or got the chance to speak to him. But there are some negatives I find in the Cloonster that makes me less crazy about him.


One being that he is forty five years old and he's not settled down. I don't know why I care. I don't think it's wrong to be a bachelor at an older age, and I think it's actually smart of him to choose not to commit to a marriage as opposed to marrying and just not caring. I've always said, better not to get married, and better not to have kids, than mess up your life with those two decisions if you know they won't agree with you. But then the trust issues factor into the situation. Cloonster isn't married because he's a two-timing cheater who knows he is a God amongst men and likes to use his status as Chick Magnet to score any convenient bimbo available.

Even though he's never looked like a total jerk, George knows most women would jump at the chance to be with him. Including myself. Take back everything I've said, I am a female and as hopeless as they come to the charms of the Cloonster. If everything doesn't work out with Anderson, you know.

The Kevin Bacon Thing Game

How I'm Connected to Filmmaker/Poet/Extraordinaire JEAN COCTEAU

1. Our friend from the post office opened up for Joe Perry when he was in his kick-ass band, Secret Syde.

2. Joe Perry was in Aerosmith with Steven Tyler.

3. Steven Tyler's daughter Liv was in a movie with or somehow involved with Jean Marais (I think. Don't look this up because it might discredit my whole connection to Cocteau)

4. Jean Marais- Jean Cocteau= lovers
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts

I hate Jandek.

I don't know how I'm going to stay up for Anderson Cooper 360 once school starts.

Skittles don't taste good anymore.

It's raining a lot, and we're not even near the hurricane.

The H&M website finally makes sense.

Wickerman is scary good.

Project Runway Evaluation

As far as Project Runway goes, I'm becoming addicted. I wish I had the talent and ability to make my own clothes. I'd totally make Angela's Audrey Hepburn dress. In all different colors, like Florrie Fisher. But not everyone on PR is talented. Ok, whatever- they're all talented but I really don't like some of them. Let's discuss this.

Michael- Michael is probably the top designer at this point. I've never seen him do anything NOT perfect. The Pam Grier thing was so well made, and I loved the look he sported for himself on this episode's special runway edition. Michael will win this. I also like his cute smile and how he never disses anyone. That's my boy.

Vincent- Vincent's ok. I take comfort in the fact that he sounds like my family from Staten Island, and is a fellow Italian like me (except he's probably full blooded, and I'm Gaelic/Garlic). Anyway, enough of that crap- Vincent has made some really good things like the Twiggy dress (What were the judges thinking? I would've worn it) and some things that are more....eeeeh. The Harry Winston Comment was hysterical, too. So yeah, I like Vincent.

Laura- Laura has "New England Yuppie" written all over her, and yeah, she's pretty intense. But I do like all her dresses, and I would wear them myself if I could. I also like how she hates Jeffrey.

Jeffrey- Jeffrey's like that annoying guy you know who is in his thirties but still thinks he's going to be a rock star. It's like, no, those tattooes on your neck only emphasis how Q-Tip shaped you are, Jeffrey. And How dare he treat Angela's mother like that!! And don't get me started on Jeffrey's mom- She's all, "Jeffrey's been through a lot," when Angela's Mom was crying. Shut up bitch. At the root of jealous Jeffrey is a bunch of problems like insecurity. I was so mad when his stupid pin striped ugly zippered pants won him a challenge. If I ever met him, you might have to hold me back from smacking the shit out of him. Oh, yeah, and that outfit has been done. So many times before.

Angela- Angela made some beautiful things, and some God awful ugly things. But I think she's very talented, and a nice person who thinks for herself and doesn't care what Jeffrey thinks about her. Angela is cool.

Kayne- Kayne's Marilyn Monroe dress is my favorite article of clothing featured on the entire season. Damn. It rocked! Kayne is funny and seems like a nice guy, but I hope he doesn't make a huge mistake in the next episode- he's been almost eliminated twice. He needs to forget his redneck, "gentleman caller" past and start stealing ideas from Laura and Michael.

Uli- Uli is adorable, and I like all of her funky prints that I know I'll never be able to pull off. I just want to see her do different things.

Hmm, I know I must be forgetting someone. I'll think of it later. Also, I really really liked Keith Michael. He looked like a skeevy Jacob Dylan. He'd probably be one of the contenders to win. I know every Wednesday he watches and cries. :-( Oh, well.

I want to see them make an outfit for a rock star. Like Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Costello, Elvis Presley, and Janis Joplin or something. And on that same challenge I want Jeffrey to go home.

Got my schedule. Who the heck gets PE first period? I thought it was a myth.

I dreamt a girl I know from school was telling me about how she went to Paris this summer and fell in love with a boy there. She was so heartbroken, it was actually sad. He also looked like a young Elvis Costello, minus the glasses and the bad teeth. Then I woke up :-( I wanted to see the ending. But I'm glad it ended where it did, in retrospect, since my kilt had flown up like nine times in public by that time.

Another Pet

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My Pet Pig

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Sleeping (?) is the Only Love

I'm babysitting birds and they really like music. They're always making these bouncy squeeky noises, until someone turns some music on. I've noticed they like vocals better than instrumentals. When the Belle and Sebastian Fans Only DVD is on, they turn around in their cage to gaze silently upon Stuart and Stevie, and Isobel and the other Stuart on the quaint Glasgow (Edinburgh? looked like the street I stayed on in the video for LAZY LINE PAINTER JANE), streets. They especially like "This Is Just a Modern Rock Song". I think that might be their best song. I just can't listen to it because it makes me sad :-( BOO HOO

I don't like aggressive music.

Well I don't feel good today because my legs hurt and I'm exhausted from staying up so late. But there's so much Anderson Cooper 360 to watch. It's one of those days where u just want to lay in bed and go to sleep. Oh, man, what can you do.

Punks in the Beerlight

Summer is almost ended, and I'm glad. I hate the summer. Sure, I like sleeping late and no school, but I hate the weather and.... I start to miss school. I know I'm going to regret I ever said that in February. I like school in September through Winter Break. Then, there's no going back. I can't stand the Third-Fourth Marking Period. Teachers still trying to grasp onto any control they once had over the classroom. Giving too many reports, realizing they aren't done with the curriculum yet. It's fun, though, when we all slack off. Then of course finals... :-(

Bring in the Autumn

Bring in the Autumn. I am so tired of this summer in the twenty-first century global warming disaster. I want Halloween. I want to dress up as Elvis Costello or June Carter. I want Thanksgiving. I want to gain three pounds in stuffing. I want Christmas. I want the decorations, the Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer claymation, cookies, and the Brian Setzer Orchestra Concert. Plus, I want presents.

Rock Lobster

Masses vs. Classes

I have this crazy relationship with the Manic Street Preachers. I'm the only American, non-goth girl who knows who they are.

Real Post

On Saturday is the baptism, and I'm wearing a really nice v-neck dress that I bought the other day at Lord and Taylor. I'm going to be bloated when I wear it, so I'm going on a crash diet the next few days to ensure that the only weight I'll be carrying is the bloat that comes with the guarantee of the ability to bear children, and not some extra ice cream/carbs plushy stuff.

Honestly, I really hate weight issues. When I hit puberty I was the butt of many fat jokes from my Dad, which kind of confounds everybody in my family because I'm not, and have never been, fat. But whatever. I just want to fit into my dress and not be a crazy, hormonal bitch.

There's a man in the back of the boat in that painting of Washington crossing the Deleware who looks just like Tom Cruise. He is wrapped in a tan blanket, and holding a gun. It's all a Scientology conspiracy. And no, I didn't get my free personality test today, although I could've if we weren't running around so much. I'd love to do that just for kicks. How much fun would that be? "Hi, I'm interested in getting a free personality test."

Head on Apply Directly to the Forehead

I was tuning on the shine of the light night dial
Doing anything my radio radio advised
With everyone of those late night stations
Playing songs bringing tears to my eyes
I was seriously thinking about hiding the receiver
When the switch broke cuz it's old
They're saying things that I can hardly believe
They really think we're getting out of control.

Radio is a sound salvation
Radio is cleaning up the nation
They say you better listen to the voice of reason
But they don't give you any choice
Because they think that it's treason
So you had better do as you are told
You better listen to the radio.

I wanna bite the hand that feeds me
I wanna bite that heand so badly
I want to make them wish they'd never seen me

Some of my friends they sit around every evening
And they worry about the times ahead
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference
And the promise of an early death
You either shut up or get cut up;
They don't want to hear about it,
It's only inches on the reel to reel
And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools
Trying to anaesthetise the way that you feel.

Facts Project

Here are twenty interesting facts about myself.

1. When I was little, I had recurring dreams of being lost in a mansion run by mechanical elves, much like the "It's A Small World" ride thing at Disney World.

2. Recurring characters in my dreams include Owen Wilson, Crispin Glover, Michael J. Fox, and David Cross.

3. I love vintage dresses, and buy clothes from a Red Bank thrift shop, Backward Glances, occassionally.

4. In seventh grade, I was a huge hippy.

5. My first concert was NSYNC, but then I worked my way up into coolness with a No Doubt concert, Bruce Springsteen, and BOB DYLAN!!!

6. Halloween is my second favorite holiday.

7. I love doing needlework- crotcheting, knitting, cross stitching.

8. Winter is my favorite month because of my birthday, Christmas, and the coziness of it being cold outside and warm inside!

9. I rock at mini-golf, and make bets that I will win each time I play. (I'm always right).

10. I thought that on Y2K, the lights would go out and the world would end.

11. When I was little, I convinced myself I saw Santa Claus and an elf by my Christmas tree. My imagination was really overactive, what can I say?

12. My oldest brother would hold me and run down the stairs when I was a little girl. I seem to remember him dropping me, and flying down the stairs!!!! (Like Superman). This is probably a dream.....

13. Last year I didn't believe in dinosaurs. Not for religious reasons, but because the whole idea of dinosaurs is just so weird.

14. On Easter 1996, my mom and I were sick, so we slept downstairs on the couch. Next to the couch we had all our medecine, soda, crackers, etc. I couldn't sleep so I stared out the window and saw lights from the sky, like a UFO.

15. I met Yoko Ono.

16. I know that Tom Cruise is gay and sterile from a pretty reliable source (? You can never really tell, but I believe him).

17. I played with dolls until I was twelve years old.

18. I read all the American Girl books, and loved Molly the most.

19. My favorite instrument is the violin.

20. I knew about the whole McGreevey scandal beforehand, because of my seriously cool connections.

Books Continued

1. Night- Night is the best book that I have read all year round in school. I'd read it before, but reading it a second time I saw it in a new light.

2. If Not Now, When?- I read this after Night, and liked it a lot. I reccomend it to everybody for a fast read.

3. Slouching Toward Nirvana- I was attracted to this book because of its super cool title and it's very pretty cover. For some reason, Bukowski's poems read like stories- you feel like you know him, you feel like you're there with him as he yells at the black guys stealing his tv, and as he works in various factories, small jobs, etc. Some people think Bukowski is a load of crap, and that he's pretentious. Whatever. All I know is I remember literally all of his poems in Slouching Toward Nirvana, and I loved each one.

4. Hip: A History- I CAN'T RECCOMEND THIS ENOUGH. Buy it. Borrow it. Just read it. Yes, sometimes while you're reading you stop and think, "What the heck is he talking about"? But I love reading about the precursors of hip, and Walt Whitman and the orginal beats and American bohemians.

5. Leaves of Grass- Speaking of Walt Whitman, this is the most perfect anthology of published poems. Walt Whitman just tears and rips at your consciousness and you feel his words seeping into your veins. They aren't poems for recluses, or poems for the introverted sulker. Leaves of Grass is tuned to the poetry of life and all its rhythyms (sp? I know, I know) and passion. Walt Whitman is by far the best American poet.

6. Walden- Not just something Eric Cartman plagiarized. Walden chronicles Thoreau's life in the woods, and all his ideas on government, taxes, and life in general. The last twenty pages are amazing. I read just those pages from time to time, and hanged some quotes up on my wall. Thoreau is the man.

7. Chronicles V. One- BOB DYLAN! I read this in a day. I really liked reading about what Bob read, and what poets and authors he liked. I can't tell you how much I love Bob. It borders on obsession. My mom makes fun of me and Chrissy for being so crazy. For watching No Direction Home three times in one day. But you shouldn't criticize what you can't understand.

8. The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde managed to write the coolest plot line ever. I read the first few pages about a billion times over.

More Books, School

10. Les Enfants d'Terribles- Ok. I know this is written wrong. But don't get mad, it's late and I'm tired, and I'm an Italian student. Jean Cocteau is possibly one of my favorite people that I don't know, Bob Dylan being Number One in that list, of course. I think Cocteau was a really cool director, and I love the whole aura of poetry and artistry that surrounds him. This was unlike anything I've ever read, but I still enjoyed it immensly.

11. Jane Eyre- Obviously I didn't read Cocteau in school, although in an alternate universe we would have. Jane Eyre marks my first book read in school this year, and it was a disappointing way to start off what turned out to be a pretty bad school year. Jane Eyre is the most boring book I have ever read, and I love Nineteenth Century British Lit. It's all about Heathcliff, everyone. But I could never get into Jane Eyre. Ick.

12. Black Boy- Black Boy was alright. I wished we had read the Communism part, but of course we were told it wasn't "necessary" and we altogether stopped reading the book. Stupid.

13. Julius Caesar- Y-izzle. Shakespeare is cool as hell and you know it. I really enjoyed Julius Caesar. Of course, it helped that we watched the Brando film. :-)

14. Lord of the Flies- Ehh, it's ok. My friend hated it, but I thought it was alright.

15. Twelve Angry Men- More like Twelve Angry Yawns, even though I had a big role when we read it out loud.

16. Tess of the D'Urbervilles- We didn't actually read this, but instead watched the movie. I loved it. All the girls did. Poor boys.

17. Medea- I played Tom Cruiseius, the sterile friend. I read this last year, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have if this crazy tale of Courtney Love were fresh and new to me.

18. Poetry Section- Why are we forced to read boring Emily Dickinson and the quintessential Robert Frost? Why can't we read....Ginsberg, William Carlos Williams, Buckowski, Shakespeare, Byron, Yeats- ANYONE but Emily Dickinson. And why must all these poets be white New Englanders?? No wonder people hate poetry at my school.

19. This Other Greek Play- Forget what it was called. But this girl's brother died in battle, and she wanted to bury him, but the King forbade her because her brother was a traitor. It ended in three deaths. I loved it!!

20. Short Stories- How come I love short stories, but just never the ones we read in school?

moral of the story-- most of high school lit. is boring and shouldn't be read.

Books I Have Read

MY LIST OF SOME BOOKS SHE HAS READ THIS YEAR,
AND WHAT SHE THOUGHT ABOUT THOSE BOOKS

1. The Bell Jar- Wow, this is possibly the most addicting book I have ever read. You become totally immersed in it. I hate Sylvia Plath's poems, but this is one of the best things I've ever read. I took it out of the school library, and someone who had previously borrowed it left a cut-out of a gun in between the pages. That was seriously messed up. I like to think that person killed himself, jk.

2. Rosemary's Baby- I love the movie, and have seen it several times this year, so I decided to take out the real thing. I love Rosemary Whitehouse; she's so cute and unsuspecting until she becomes consumed with paranoia. If I were her, though, I would have killed myself and the baby; it was Satan, for God's sake. She's all like, "I suppose since it's half human, it could turn out good." Yeah, right. But still, a great book.

3. The Catcher in the Rye- I used to hate Salinger because he was a precursor to emo. Plus, how many times can you italicize and say "phony" in the course of two pages? Salinger is the sort of author who lives underground in a tunnel and only comes out to go food shopping. Still, Catcher in the Rye surprised me, and I grade it a B. Even though the man who shot John Lennon held this while shooting him, and it's every murderer's favorite book.

4. Franny and Zooey- Read the first two sentences of my Catcher in the Rye review. I felt like it had a lot of promise, but then got wrapped up in its phoniness and it's sarcasm and hateful characters. However, I was sick when I was reading it, so maybe that's why I was so impatient with these spoiled, rich brats. I read it a second time, a few months later, and enjoyed it more. Still, I'm not too crazy about Franny and Zooey.

5. Nine Stories- THIS IS MY FAVORITE. I love Nine Stories. I don't understand how a guy who wrote pretty annoying books could write great stories that kept me up all night. The story, The Laughing Man (or something) was so tragic, omg. omg.omg.omg.omg.omgzzzz read dissss jk. but really, read Nine Stories, because it doesn't dissapoint anyone. People hate Catcher, and F&Z, but everyone is down with Nine Stories.

6. Don Juan- I love Byron, what can I say? People saw this and told me it looked amazingly boring. But it wasn't.

7. The Claudine Novels- Ok, ok, I only read Claudine at School, but I still liked it. Even though Claudine was annoying, and sort of mean, I thought it was very funny. I didn't know that every French person was lesbian, male or female.

8. Barrell Fever- My introduction to Sedaris. I searched all over the bookstore for anything Sedaris, and finally found this. Luckily, my mom's car broke down in the parking lot, so we were stranded in the greatest place in the world, Barnes and Noble. It was a very cold winter day, so I bought a cookie and a drink and curled up in one of those big, overstuffed chairs and read this while waiting. I nearly shit my pants. I still do. People say that "Me Talk Pretty One Day" is his greatest work, but I'll always think Barrel Fever is.

9. Go Ask Alice- Dear, Lord. I borrowed this on a whim because it's such a notorious book, and quite frankly I wanted to read about some crazy hippies smoking pot and driving big ass buses. What I got instead was the most poorly written excuse for a diary I've ever read, and a bunch of right-wing propaganda, barely masked as a non-fiction, true story. Drugs are Bad. Don't do Drugs. Crack is Wack. I believe those things. But I don't believe that smoking pot turns you into a lesbian. And I don't believe smoking pot makes you rip your eyes out, claw at your face, and end up in a hospital. Whoever likes this book sadly has never read much. I just want to punch Alice in the face. As you can see, reading this fueled me to do the complete adverse of the supposed moral of the story.

10. Actual Air- DC Berman. I like DC Berman, he is the man.All I can say, I guess.