fools rush in where wisemen never go

some music to listen to as you read about me yay.

1. Name- do you really think i'm going to answer this, my name is laura though.

2. Age- I'm sixteen. Pedophiles no need apply.

3. Nationality- I'm a Jersey girl born and raised by Staten Islanders. I'm Irish, Scottish, Italian, and a teensy bit German but we all try to deny our German heritage.

3 1/2. Religion- Catholic. I'm not one of those people who bash Catholicism. I think there's a lot of good and a lot of bad in every religion. Go Virgin Mary.

4. Hair- Dark brown practically black. Think flapper.

5. Height- Five foot four.

6. Weight- Very funny

7. More Interesting Things- I'm pale, and I burn like a bitch.

8. Status- I am thoroughly single and not wallowing up in self pity. I haven't liked anyone in a long time ever since sewing and Morrissey became my boyfriend.

9. Looking for- Hmm... I guess my ideal guy would be at least six inches taller than me, light short hair, blue eyes, and slightly muscular. He'd like all the music I like, he'd be funny, and he's a smart guy. But that sounds too Aryan, doesn't it.

10. Kids? I like kids. I want three some day. I hate people who hate kids.

11. Favorite Shows- I love Lost. Strangers With Candy is a close tie, though. I also love Colbert Report. Hmm...I guess I don't like a lot of tv lol.

12. Favorite music- I love the '80s. I don't know why. I'm into everything, I guess. I love classic rock, twee, a lot of alternative and indie stuff. My favorite band is BelleandTheSmiths. That's if Belle and Sebastian magically formed with my other favorite band, The Smiths. I also enjoy Depeche Mode, The Cranberries, Bob Dylan, Orange Juice, and The Pastels. I really like old hokey folk music too!

13. Favorite movies- Hmm...I don't think it gets any better than Taxi Driver. But I also like La Belle et La Bete (that's actually probably my favorite film), 8 1/2, all Woody Allen stuff, Rosemary's Baby (hahaha-get it?) , and whatever.

14. Favorite hobbies- I like arts and crafts too much. I also enjoy fashion and I'm learning how to make my own clothes. I'm a shopaholic.

15. Do I like school? - I really enjoy school. Sometimes I really don't want to get out of bed (ok well I never want to get out of bed), and sometimes I freak out about tests. But still, I like learning.

16. Favorite actors- Joaquin Phoenix, John Cusack, Marlon Brando, James Dean, Johnny Depp, Alan Rickman, Jason Schwartzman, Jean Marais because he was absolutely amazing as the Beast and that Greek dude.. yeah.

17. Favorite actresses- Winona Ryder, Meryl Streep, Sally Field and Kirsten Dunst.

18. NSYNC or Backstreet?- Nsync all the way. I was a huge fan. I loved them all, practically. I went through a period of time where I was really into Lance (LOL), and then there was..Ok nevermind, too embarassing to look back.

19. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?- I totally believe in ghosts. As for aliens, I do believe there must be life out there in space. Whether or not they're little midget creatures with antennaes, I don't know. But I do know that there was a week in October where I was abducted like three times, damn aliens.

20. Have you ever seen a ghost?- Not that I can remember.

21. What is your favorite color?- Greens and purples.

22. What do you want to be when you grow up?- America's Goat Man.

Check It

1. What is your favorite word? My favorite word would have to be "are". I think it's a very pretty looking word and I like how it sounds.
2. What is your least favorite word? I don't like the word "coleslaw".

3. What turns you on (creatively, spiritually, or emotionally)? Creatively, free time. Spiritually, the common thread that unites generations of families (lol i'm serious too.), and emotionally I like laughter.

4. What turns you off? People bullying or making fun of each other has always turned me off, especially when its cruelty among children.

5. What is your favorite curse word? I love the weatherman with Tourettes on ebaumsworld...he had some good ones. My favorite was "shitmotherfucker" but you have to say it like one long word and snap a pointer in front of a globe for it to really work to its fullest effect.

6. What sound or noise do you love? Wind chimes.

7. What sound or noise do you hate? Children crying.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Um, well, if I were an actor, I would have to say teacher.

9. What profession would you not like to try? Anything involving an office.

10. If Heaven exists what would you like to hear God say at the Pearly Gates? That dinosaurs never existed, and that space is not a random series of events.

u2 heads shoulders knees and toes

i want one of those poll/questionaire things so i could answer random questions here.

ode to marcel

o, marcel, the tiny outcast on bravo's top chef. you are so cute, even if you need a haircut. you're an alienated, self-conscious loner, and i want to scoop you up like david sedaris and run away. i know that you're not really an asshole, you just want people to respect you and like you. i think you're a nice guy. forget ugly betty- she's an insensere train wreck.

and please take your shirt off next episode again, thank you.

ode to pavement

oh, pavement, oh stephen malkymus. i listened to you a lot when i was sick. therefore you remind me of winter '05, the scent of jasmine, fuzzy pink floyd shirts, and fuzzy mocassins. (SP?) stephen malkmus is like my american indie boyfriend. i fall asleep to crooked rain, crooked rain (la's desert origins) all the freaking time, and i want a range life. plus, i love american water. of course that's the silver jooos. but who cares, i love malkmus' voice with berman's. yay.

mr. eko died and other poems

A Hailku
-brought to you by a sad Lost fan.

Mr. Eko died
His brother was like WHAT NOW???
Tears fell for minutes
*

A Sad Poem

Mr. Eko died.
His brother was like, "WHAT NOW BITCH??"
I cried for ten minutes
And wished I could adopt a black baby like Madonna
Because those black kids are really adorable
And seem to have a knack for comedic timing

*
Carlos D
Carlos,
our favorite herpes infected bassist,
You went from Militairy Chique
To Mariachi '70's Pornstar
When you grew the 'stache.

I should be offended
I should be ashamed
I should never fantasize about
Holster wearing Carlos again

But the mustache is hot
In such an odd way
So you can dial my digits
I live in the tri-state area
And can easily make the trip to Manhattan through the SI Ferry
I'm not chubby,
tho.

Malkymus

Haha.

Review of Marie Antoinette

LET THEM EAT CAKE!

jk. It's a well known fact that Marie Antoinette has never said these words. You can trust me, I am the resident ex-Royal Diaries fanatic. I read those books like a fat kid eats cake. I've always loved historical fiction, and I love learning abotu princesses and evil kings and shit, so I do know a lot about Marie Antoinette, that crazy whore.

Anyway, so last night I saw Sofia Coppola's latest film, Marie Antoinette, starring Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman, Rip Torn (WTF?), and Marianne Faithfull was somewhere in there. I've been waiting to see this ever since we saw the trailers last summer, where pretty Kirsten Dunst runs down the hallway in her heels to New Order. While some people can't understand the 80's New Wave spin that Coppola pulled off, I thought it was AMAZING.

Because this movie is so cinematically gorgeous. From nature scenes, to the palace, to the costumes, to the makeup, to the pastries, to the camera angles and fantastic shoe montages- it was gorgeous. It was so lavender. And sky blue. And PINK.

The music was dead on. It portrayed every mood perfectly, and showed a lot of variety; there was the upbeat songs like "I Want Candy", and then the OH SHIT I'M GOING TO GET MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF songs like The Cure's "All Cats are Grey". This is definitely my musical time period. I can't believe I ever hated the 80's.

Kirsten Dunst did a decent job of portraying Marie Antoinette, the naive and innocent princess who became queen as a teenager. Granted, the dialogue wasn't all that great, but who cares. Marie Antoinette had a freaking shoe montage. She doesn't need dialogue. Jason Schwartzman, who I love oh so very much, did an excellent job of portraying Louis Insert Big Number Here. It was very Schwartzman-like, but he was still convinving enough as an actual king.

FAVORITES

1. My favorite dresses weren't worn by Marie Antoinette, but by her friends. I love all those pastel colors.

2. My favorite pastry were the white and pink ones that looked like checkers. (As you can see, I like the pastries)

3. My favorite song was the club-hopping "Aphrodisiac" by Bow Wow Wow.

4. There were lots of dreamy sequences where Marie just stares out the window or up at the ceiling; those were my favorite because they were so well done.

So, yeah. I enjoyed the film a lot. I like how it portrayed her in a sympathetic light. She wasn't just the slut that modern history has unfortunately painted her out to be. She was the naive little girl who was thrown head first into court life at Versailles, which, if you know anything about history, was mad skeevy. She didn't know a thing about politics, but then again she wasn't exactly expected to. She loved her kids, and even though she cheated on Jason Schwartzman with that Orlando Bloom-esque Swede, she did respect her husband. I guess. Probably.

In conclusion, why can't I be Marie Antoinette? If I could dress up in pink and blue all day long, go shoe shopping, eat doughy pastries, be married to Jason Schwartzman (Minus the extra thirty pounds he had to put on, but that's ok, too, there are girl chubby chasers), and run around to New Order all day long with my cute little babies- I'd be a very happy girl.

Just minus all that head cut off stuff.

omg

my grandpa saw the borat movie. he thought it was a cute movie about a foreign reporter.

oh. lord.

in my country there is problem.

i'm winging it this short three day week.

Halloweeny

HALLOWEEN! Best best best best holiday ever, after Christmas.

So far, the best costume I've seen so far is my friend who went as the world's greatest dad. he has a huge mohawk, a rope belt over The World's Greatest Dad Shirt, and underwear over his pants.

Today I'm a flapper. The Marilyn thing didn't work out, because I couldn't find a costume that fit me right; everything was much too long. But the flapper thing really suits my hair, so it's a success.

Going to the cafeteria to see the winning costumes.

Denying Your German Heritage

Oh my gosh. Shaun of the Dead. Watched it twice this weekend. I NEED TO WATCH IT ON HALLOWEEN. alli, if you're reading this- BEST MOVIE EVER. We have to watch it. But if we don't it's ok, because I'm netflixing it.

In other news- I saw two plays this weekend- Mary Poppins, and Pride and Prejudice. I'm speaking in a British accent now hahahaha.

I got my yearbook photos- bom chicka bom bom, i look really good. they airbrushed my face!!

102 and a 99

Today on this day of days I don't feel so good. My stomach hurt all day. I have a math test tomorrow, and two Italian tests on Wednesday and Thursday. Plus, all of a sudden now I have this huge comparative essay on Chillingworth and Dimmesdale due TOMORROW. to.morrow.
****
So let's discuss other news. Here is my Dead To Me List.

1. Michael Moore Films
2. Morrissey's Ambiguous Sexuality
3. Black and White Cookies
4. Concept Albums
5. Television Geared Toward Young Adults
6. Books That Aren't Classics *although i like stephen king*
7. Driving

Accidents Will Happen

hey ya. so this weekend was fun. trans buttah was on vh1 classics, as "timothy" buttah. woow.

something good happened, but i don't want to say what it is because i'm tired and i really don't feel like it. so i'll just rub it in everybody's face and listen to more Elvis Costello.

LOST LAST NIGHT

wowzers

huge ass fight at school today. frightening and disturbing, bordering on funny, as always. teachers, students flying down the hallway. people falling on their asses, lots of kids screaming, a flash of the vice principal's pink shirt. teachers grabbing students. two fights within two minutes of each other. all girls, duh. guys don't fight in school. girls are horrible. her eyes were almost gouged out, she was up against the locker all screaming.

in other news, life is pleasant because it's been boring. I'm happy that suddenly I am getting better grades than the huge nerds. I guess that having no life five days a week pays off. Actually, I don't really not have a life..I think I maintain healthy social activities during the week. Of course, it revolves around TV. Yeeea-ah.

One of My Favorite Songs

YOU ALL EVERYBODY

YES.

So SEASON III began this week. And what a season it will turn out to be, just judging from the premiere. Not many questions were answered- actually, more like nil, unless you didn't think the Others were organized and reading Stephen King-and my boyfriend didn't have any screen time, but still it was a good episode.

I hate this new character, Juliet. What a bitch. What a conniving little bitch, eating the sandwhich right in front of Jack and everything. People feel bad for her,too! They're like, Oh poor Juliet, you can tell she doesn't like Ben or any of the Others! She must be a good person. Uhhh, exxcuse me, I don't think so.

PREDICTIONS: KATE AND SAWYER WILL BE FORCED TO MATE

WEEKEND!!!

Today I talked to a friend who told me that The Friendly SOS in Old B. offers Irish Step Dancing, for adults as well. I'm begging my mom, but she's all like, "NOOOOO YOU HAVE TO GET INTO COLLEGE NOOOO"

So this summer, or next school year I'll totally look into it.
This year is going to go fast anyway.

I hate when they find the remains of recently undiscovered sea creatures that are the size of a house. That scares me. The Ocean is a scary place. There are creatures down there that are mad frightening. Don't go swimming!! They will eat you aaaahhh

In other news, I guess it's bad that I didn't read The Scarlet Letter, and I'm having a test on it Tuesday. You know what I'll be doing this weekend.

WAAAAH

I WANT TO BE AN IRISH STEP DANCER.
Why, Lord? Why do I feel the calling of the Riverdance as a sixteen year old? In Irish Dancing terms, I might as well be retired. The only dance classes I took were jazz, ballet, and tap, and I fully realize there are hundreds of ten year olds who could beat my ass in Irish Step Dancing.

I'm trying to find an adult beginner's class I could start this summer (school year too busy with SAT stuff), but I'm having trouble finding any. However, I have two serious connections to Irish Step Dancing, so i can ask them for schedules and more info and stuff. If I did dancing, it would be for a year, unless I could find something local near my college (wherever the Hell that may be).

Why do i want to do this? Is it because I want my hair to like like that? Is it because I want to fly and jump into the air and roundhouse kick people in the face?

Possibly.

But it just looks like a lot of fun, and thanks to google I've found out that there are people who've started dancing at eighteen, and nineteen. Better late than never. Plus, do I really want to be that mother who lives through her daughter and forces her to become Little Miss Step Dancer, when her real passion is...watching cartoons and eating chocolate?? No.

So, I want to step dance. You're welcome to join me, bitches.

Oh but I remember you.

I'm sad I was never into Irish Step Dancing, or something fun and cultural like that. It's only now that I'm older that I'm searching for cultural identity, besides you know, eating pasta and calling people "abatz" and saying the word paisan a lot.

::is mad she never irish step danced and is too old and muscles too creaky::

Everyday is like Sunday is the name of my blog, and it's so true.

Beautiful Video

Him? Uh, ME

Oh my gosh, what is wrong with me. I meant: What you may not know about "me". not "him". does this mean I relate myself to a man?

ARE YOU READY?

Are you ready for Lost Season III?

What you may not know about him from just reading this summer's blog posts, is that I'm a huge Lost fanatic and during the year I live and breathe Lost. I am all about that show. So, in this post, I am going to share some opinions on the cast of characters that make up Lost, as well as adding in some Project Runway shit at the end.

The Men and Women of Lost

1. Desmond- Des, Des, Des!!! I love Desmond, I love Desmond. He is my favorite character, mainly because he's still mostly a mystery to the viewers. He's elusive, passionate, and full of faith. And a healthy Fife accent never hurt anyone much at all, does it? Also, he's bom chicka bom bom.

2. Mr. Eko- Mr. Eko is damn muscular and awesome. Some of his actions are really inexplicable, but I like him because he's probably the coolest priest ever and also he can snap a person in half quite easily.

3. Jack- Jack got seriously annoying, but I give him props for just trying to keep things in order. He has to realize that he can't be the hero, and he can't be the leader of the island, just because of his status as a rich doctor. But I don't hate Jack, like some fans of Lost do, and I hope he saves the day in the next few episodes. (this won't happen).

4. Kate- Kate is really annoying. She reminds me of this girl I know who I'd like to smack in the face. What is wrong with this girl? Almost everything. When she's not sulking about being a misunderstood fugitive, she's fulfilling all her odd Oepidus complexes by flirting and crushing on Sawyer (aka her dad). She's also whiny. Meh.

5. Sawyer- I love Sawyer. Who else is going to call Jin Chewbacca?

6. Hurley- I love Hurley too. Des and Hurley are, I think, the most important to the show. Go Hurley.

And for Project Runway- I hated everyone's outfit last week.

I Met David Sedaris; You Didn't

In other news, I spent the earliest portion of the day dancing at my friend's sweet sixteen. It was so much fun. I don't think I've ever enjoyed synchronized group dancing so much. The Cotton Eyed Joe is still fun after all these years, but it's got nothing on those traditional Indian dances with the sticks.

Yeeeeeaaaaah.

I didn't eat a lot today, so after the David S. show I went to the diner with Aunt K and we ate binner (dinner, breakfast??)

Last night, I dreamt that a certain someone was crying in class. I turned around and said, "Do you have a bad stomach ache or something?"

"No," he said. "I just hate going to the dentist."

"Ooh,"I sympathized. "I hate getting bloodwork done."

Then we were walking around the inn stayed in at Inverness, and it was just like the Smiths song "Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me."

Then another certain someone and I were planning on going to Vermont for a weekend. However, it started to snow profusely, and I thought our plans would have to be delayed.

"Maybe we'll go next week."
"No, we can go now!"

I remember thinking how inappropriate that was.

Then my history teacher and I were swimming down near The Beach House, and she was like, "Let's go all the way out to the bridge." I said, "Are you sure? This water is practically like mud, and we don't want to get E.Coli." So we didn't.

**

Today at the party I felt bad for those of my friends who don't dance. I may be quiet sometimes, but I'm never quiet on the dance floor. Something inside of me just pops and I go insane, I've got everything down- twee dancing, skanking, whatever. I'm not one of those slutty dancers, but I know how to have a good time. It's sad when you turn around and you just see some of your friends looking like deer in the headlights. It's like, Ouch, let's go back to our seat.

**

I was talking to my friends about how after certain experiences of the last year, I have stopped liking long hair on guys. Long hair on guys- I associate it with child molestors and rat tailed trailer trash. Long gone are the days where I thought Led Zeppelin was so hot. Long gone are the days where my idealized boyfriend was a rock star.

Puh-lease.

After developing my love for Scotland, my idea of an idealized boyfriend/husband has become tall, slightly muscular, light haired, and light eyed, which is by no means representative of the Scottish people, everyone. There are plenty of dark haired Scostmen out there, just look at Desmond from Lost. But Andrew the Bagpiper looked just how I explained, and yes- that idealized guy is wearing a kilt.

KILTS.

KILTS.

KILTS.

Say it with me now.

I watched the death scene from Braveheart on YouTube today. FREEEH DOM. LOL. Braveheart is such a good movie. Yet unintentionally funny. ANyway, the saddest part was seeing Wallace's wife at the very end. Oh, the tears.

Oh the tears.

I Just Met David Sedaris

So Aunt K and I walk in, and I'm talking to her, and she gasps and points to a table where a little man with nice skin was signing books. IT WAS DAVID SEDARIS! I realized then how cute he was, and how if I were walking down the street and little old David Sedaris came by I would probably squeal or something.

So in the back of the line, I was peering over everyone's shoulder just to get a glimpse of him. He has the cutest smile of all time. He was like a teddy bear or something? I mean, I don't know. THe man is tiny. I just had this weird maternal instinct, I wanted to pick him up and run away with him so we could live at my house and watch soap operas all day long.

So then I got closer and closer, until I was right behind this very well dressed couple talking to David. David asked the girl, "Do you have a job?" Which I suppose kind of insulted her, because she kind of just half-giggled, as if she was thinking, "Haha of course I have a job- I'm a rich doctor's wife".

Then it was my turn. I gave him a big frikking smile. He smiled back, in that amazingly cute smile, where he doesn't show his teeth. He signed my book, "Holidays on Ice" and double checked that my name was Laura.

"Now that's what you would call- an attractive couple," he told me, about the rich whities in front of me in line. I nodded my head, and said they definitely were. Even though I didn't even get the glimpse of the guy. But that girl was attractive, so yeah, I bet they were a good looking couple.

"So how old are you, Laura?"
"I'm sixteen."
"Oh!" he said, reaching behind the table to grab a large canvas bag. "I have a little present for you, then-"
"Well, that's good because I have a present for you!" Woo. Thank God. This was a good way to enter my little Fuck It Bucket into the conversation. "One of my favorite stories is about your brother's Fuck It Bucket, so I made you a little one out of a Halloween themed basket."

He smiled and I wanted to ask him if he was sure he was gay. "Why, thank you, that was very kind of you!" (I guess he likes Hershey Kisses). "I always pick up a little something in my travels for the young people," he told me.

"Do you like headbands?"
"Yes!" Wow, I must have sounded like the most obsessed over zealous headband freak in the world. But it's true, I do like headbands. Especially elastic ones that are straight from the eighties. I want a headband, but I always forget to buy one.

"Well, I got this in the Phillipines-" he took out a multicolored, floral elastic headband. "This is in Filipino money," he told me, showing me the the sticker on the back, "but for the sake of not appearing tacky, I'll take it off."

I thanked him "so much", and asked for a picture. I went around the table, put my arm around him, and smiled- I think when she took the pic he was still looking down but who cares, i met freaking david sedaris!!!!!!

He signed my book like this: To Laura, My Teenage Friend (Thank you for the Fuck It Bucket) DS"

I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS

Had We Ever Loved So Kindly...

Also, why should I be so selfish as to whine and groan over trivial things like soul sucking incubi? There are more important things in the world, like Smiths B-sides, Christmas themed cross stitches, and H&M. Plus, there are always people who really have it worse than you.

Just like the psychic said, this year I have to focus on whats important. Like the next episode of Project Runway (whose episode this week I still have to critique). And getting ten hours of sleep each night, so I can be abducted yet again and wake up in Florida or a field in the middle of Middletown.

Life is too short to bitch and moan, even if I love Morrissey for doing it. For now, I'm leaving Morrissey to the white-person complaining. He's been doing it for decades now, and I have yet to live two. I'm going to live the way I want to, which is independent from a stupid sixteen year old boy, even if he has a car, a wallet, and easy access to the Woodbridge Mall.

Now I'm off to making my Christmas list. Bitches.

Quit Yer Whinin'

I think overnight I had a bit of a reality check. Today I slept late and did some boring things around the house, and didn't worry about boy-girl situations.

I also think that I have found the greatest website ever.

celticstitchery.com

It's like heaven for pale Celtic geeks like me. Note for anyone who wonders what to get me for Christmas: ONE OF THESE!!!! I love the Scottish Heritage section, with all the thistles and the Robbie Burns poems about God knows what.

I LOVE BACKSTITCHING. Somehow as I embroider names and dates I feel as if all my worries have gone away, and that there aren't any soul sucking incubi in the world. It's just me, my needle, and "Angel Eyes" with Jim Caveziel on TNT, on a cool autumn morning.

Oooh, fudgeums!!!

Speaking of fudge, now is the season that I cannot eat milk products, unless I want to get a horrible cold ontop of my seasonal allergies.

::realizes this is probably the nerdiest post she's ever written::

Waaaaah

Forever 21 disappointed me today. It was crowded, and there were clothes all over the place, even on the floor.

H&M never fails to make me feel like a sophisticated European. I got a cute black shirt with 3/4 length sleeves and a very nice, all purpose off-white sweater. Yay. But seriously, what is with those ugly, long dresses w/o waists? I don't think so, H&M. I don't think so.

Well, today was a great day except I spat when I was talking to my lab forensics teacher (LOL), but it could've been worse! Imagine if I peed myself or something. So spitting is cool.

After the mall, I felt a little sad because I was thinking about all my friends who are in relationships, and how retarded my poor excuse for a "relationship" was. If you could even call it that. I've never even been in a faux-relationship like my friend's relationships have been in. Ppl my age- they're pretty freaking stupid. And their boy-girl relationships are freakishly immature. But I've never even had that. Ouch.

Why do so many of my guy friends who I'd date have to be gay????

Then I remembered how Morrissey is my boyfriend, and how we have all access passes to H&M and how we live in Scotland and I cross stitch a lot and shop and write all day long.

(That is one nerdy life, isn't it)

I don't think there's anything wrong with me. This sounds selfish, but I've always been of the belief that I have good morals and am right. A lot of the time. Seriously, though. I'm a nice person. I'm funny. I have a great knowledge of pop culture. I know more about music than the average person. I'm kind. I'm Irish/Scottish/Italian. That's a great combo.

SOMEONE ASK ME OUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

(Especially if your name is Joaquin Phoenix, George Clooney, Anderson Cooper)

Accept Yourself!! (If You Can)

The amazing thing about blogs is that unless you are a cruelly honest person, you cannot write entirely everything you are feeling. Yes, I want to pour out my soul in a public way, such as Blogger- wouldn't that be nice? It'd make me feel like I was doing something right. Yet I know this is impossible since those things I'd say shouldn't be read by all. What if they saw it? What would they think?

That is a blog.

It is a silly idiotic tool for expression used by teenagers and older people with no lives.

Thus, here is my blog post for the day.

Reasons Why I Am An Idiotic Teenager

1. I like someone I've barely/never spoken to.

2. I am a shopaholic.

3. My friend kind of asked me out, and I don't know what to do(???)

4. I get anxiety and forget everything I've ever studied for tests on the day of judgement

5. I've got the trust issues.

6. Morrissey is like one of my best friends, along with X-y and the Paisans, and I've never even met him.

:-( Poo.

It sounds like I'm manic depressive, but today was actually a goodish day. TOMORROW I'M SHOPPING WEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Let's buy our feelings, and drown our sorrows in H&M!!!!

Thoughts

1. Bill Clinton > Chris Wallace

2. Eric and I are getting zeros on the SAT because we'll be too busy laughing and humming to ourselves.

3. I'm meeting David Sedaris soon. Maybe I'll upload pictures.

4. VD is for everybody.

Why Today Was Bad

1. The test I spent so much time studying for when I could have been focusing on prepping for math and mock trial was moved to Tuesday on a whim by the teacher.

2. I was yelled at by a teacher I liked, and I don't even really know why.

3. The lab test had a bunch of weird questions on things I had never seen before.

4. My night class is from 6:30 to 10 on Wed., the day before mock trial tryouts.

5. MOCK TRIAL TRYOUTS ARE SOON

6. My English teacher decides that the huge essay she told me wasn't for my class is due Wednesday.

7. Big essay on Patrick Henry when I really don't care.

8. I just wanted to go home and stitch all day long because I am a loooooser

Permission to Smack Me

Woops, there wasn't a Project Runway on last night. Imagine our surprise when we popped in the tape and watched last week's episode.

I'm excited about Mock Trial this year. Very different case this year, as opposed to last one.

I'm also excited about a new addition to our family, little Julie Grace! Imagine my surprise when my mom ran screaming through the house, "Julie Grace! It's a girl!" and I realized that I couldn't name my daughter Julia Grace anymore. I'm telling you, it's the only girl names I like. So for an hour I looked up babynames.com and I figured that not all hope is lost, I still have the name Isobel and Heather. And Siobhan is nice.

I like guy names better. It's always been that way. While all my friends were naming their not yet born daughters "Abigail" and "Elizabeth", I was like, "Owen's pretty bitchin', isn't it?"

I like the names Owen, Aidan, Sean, Andrew, and Desmond. That's some freaky weird celtic pattern going on there.

DayDream Nation

Daydream Nation. What an album. What a scary, confusing album.

When I first listened to it, I was kind of confounded. Parts of it I liked, other parts I didn't. Sometimes I'd put it on and completely forget ten minutes later I was listening to music.

But now I listen to DayDream Nation, and I love it. It's the soundtrack to life. I don't know if that makes any sense, especially since the lyrics are like "I wanna know, should I stay or go?" and "I ain't no cow" (or something), but the music- the riffs, the noise, the sonic explosions (LOL), are reminiscent of life. "Candle"- doesn't it remind you of when you're at school and that person you like yet hate so desperately comes walking in? Doesn't "Kissability" remind you of Marilyn Monroe on Meth? Doesn't "Teen Age Riot" remind you of putting pictures up in your locker?

I was thinking before about some disappointing stuff about school, etc., and I literally thought, "Hey, it's ok, I got Daydream Nation."

And it's true. It's possibly one of my favorite albums. Everyone should be acquainted with the power of Sonic Youth.

Who'd win in a fight? Pavement or Sonic Youth? SY, of course.

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

School. It's making me so busy. I'm ending my homework at about eight PM each night. It's driving me crazy. :0 ::tears, sadness, the cure::

Project R. was on last night, but I didn't watch it because I had PSAT class. So, I'll watch it tonight after I study my Italian and all my Lab Forensics. Kill me now. Sweet Jesus.

Good Morning

More Project Runway

Ok, let's talk about PR the other night. Firstly, we got a surprise by our favorite of favoritest people, ANGELA and VINCENT!!!!!!!

I was really surprised they brought the two of the back, but I was happy to see Jeffrey look so pissed. Maybe Angela really is a bitch? Who knows. It's reality tv, after all.

Let's discuss the creations, people.

1. Jeffrey- WTF. Seriously, guys. This is something you can buy at Wet Seal. It DOES look cheap, just like Kayne said. Now I'm not dissing Wet Seal- sometimes they have cute clothes. But you don't wear a streetwalker's ensemble to a freaking cocktail party. Final Verdict:Not innovative, pile of crap.

2. Angela- WTF. Seriously, Angela. It didn't even fit her right. Final Verdict: Boring, peice of crap.

3. Laura- BEAUTIFUL!!! Something that I would wear to a party. People who criticize it say that it's too old looking, but I think it's a great vintage peice. It was made wonderfully. Laura has a lot of talent. You go, girl. Final Verdict:Deserved to win.

4. Kayne- Loved the front, hated the back. Kayne is one of my favorites, and I was so sad to see him go. Final Verdict: If the challenge were to make black dresses, he should have won. But unforunately the white ribbon tassell on the back threw him off.

5. Michael- Nice!!! The model looked pretty, too. You can tell she likes Michael. Final Verdict: Great work, as expected.

6. Uli- Cute, but just as Nina Garcia said, should've cut the sleeves. Final Verdict: Nice, for Uli, but needs to show something more unique.


Vincent really is out of his mind. "Vincent Libretti, the end of an era" hit it right on the spot. I'll miss Kayne. Angela is weird. Laura is quickly becoming one of my favs. Jeffrey needs to make something for the average person, or maybe someone who isn't into pretending they're "rock".

***

In other news, I just had a pep rally. My butt hurt. I miss the days of being a freshmen. Tear, tear, tear.

Today I'm going shopping for skinny jeans. (hope I look good in them... maybe only audrey hepburn types can wear them) Then I am taking my mom out to eat, and we are going to the library. Boring Friday? maybe. but it's fun for me, and plus- it's raining like crazy. All day it looked like night; so dark and dreary. Very Braveheart/Scotland-esque, be still my heart.

ahhh

JIMMY.

YOUR NAME IS JIMMY.

wooo

The Bodyguard

Stop Me, Oh, Stop Me

VINCENT.

YOUR NAME ISN'T JIMMY.


I'm so sorry!

Embarassing moment.

Morrissey

If you know anything about modern music, you'll know that Morrissey, always called "elder statesman of rock" by lazy journalists, has the best concerts ever. Not only is it freaking MORRISSEY, guys, but his concerts are like religous experiences. Audience members run onto the stage, scream, cry, and climb ontop of the shoulders of security guards to reach their idol.

Who will join those crazy Mexicans next time Morrissey comes to NY?

Yours truly.

I'm not sure you want to go to a Morrissey concert with me, because chances are, as soon as he enters that stage, I'll completely ignore you and leave you to become lost or trampled in the swarming crowd. The sea of fans may part us, and I'll have to leave you. Because in that instant where he walks out and begins to sing, "The First of the Gang to Die", I'm getting on that freaking stage. I don't care if I have to be carried off by security guards. I'll go down in history for being the most fanatic female fan, that one girl who consitently rushed the stage at "that one Morrissey concert in '06."

I'm sure it'll be between me and some gay dude, for the most times we rush the stage. I'll win, though, because I'm fast.

I'll be like, "STOP ME, OH OH OH, STOP ME" to all the fat guards who don't reliaze how sacred a Morrissey concert is.

Travesties of the Human Race

Delias- Delias is great. If you want to spend forty dollars on a shitty t-shirt/sweater that will break up in the washing machine.

Flava of Love- Doesn't need much of an explanation.

Super Sweet Sixteen- See above.





Things that Make Me Sound Like a Crazy Old Person:

Kids grow up too fast now a days.I mean, I totally miss being a little kid and not caring about anything. It's funny, seeing the freshmen. They're all either little Hollister models or shop exclusively at Hot Topic. What does it say about our culture when we see kids younger than that even with mohawks? Do they know what they're rebelling against?

Nah.

Does anyone ever? LOL, NO!!

Vegas Weddings Never Last Long

Well, today Al and I actually recorded an album. We took songs that we had recorded the summer before, and some new ones we did together recently. I'm not kidding; our originals sound pretty good. They are a mixture of like Neil Young and the Moldy Peaches. Plus, I did the whole "scattered indians on dawn's highway bleeding" crap on The Doors' covers.

Our next album we're doing Simon and Garfunkel covers, and maybe Alli's new one!!! WEEEEE

IMDB- Causes Secret Lives!

Oh, man. I watched the creepiest movie today. It's called "The Beach", and Leo Dicaprio played the main character, Richie. So in this movie, Richie James Edwards, the lyricist and "guitarist" from MANIC STREET PREACHERS, joins up with his friend to travel to the elusive "beach", where stardom and fame will never hit him.
JK. But he does go to this beach where its inhabitants never leave. They've created this secret paradise for themselves. Except they mislooked the fact it was an island. Islands=never a good idea. Lord of the Flies, anyone?
I loved this film! It's not great, and it's actually mediocre. But I love the story and of course who doesn't love Leonardo DiCaprio, guys? He's such a great actor, especially when he hides out in the jungle and becomes a snake and hisses at that chick. I especially love the Scottish guy, Daffy. It's funny, because my nan was Scottish and she used to do a Daffy Duck impression, which is pretty rocking.

Ninjas!

Hello world. Today was a Fri-deeeeee. Last night I stayed up and read my previous journal. Yes, I keep a journal, and it's definitely not this blog. See, even though this blog is all over the place and incomprehensible at times, my journal is slightly more organized.

Last year, I said the funniest frikkin' things ever. The really funny things I can't write online, in fear . But some funny things were like:

"Jesus is black, blacker than you think."

Speaking of black, Alan, my black friend- jk.

Today Public Enemy #2 was all, "I haven't seen you in so long!!!" I was like, "It's better that way!" And then I snapped my fingers and my ninjas came out of the locker and it was all Fight Club for a while, very intense.

"McFly" must be afraid of me, I pop up everywhere.

These Things Almost Make Me Smile

Look at me up a tree again, folks. Tomorrow I'm going to be stuck at the school for like three hours after it ends. All I want to do is go home and relaxe. It's hard, being Anderson Cooper's fiance. Living on Park Ave is a toughie, I must say!!! I wouldn't recommend it to most. Sleeping until noon, and going to bed whenever the H-E-double hockey sticks I want is not only time consuming, but takes a lot out of you. In my spare time (uh, what spare time????) I shop and visit museums and eat great food. By the time the day is done, I'm ready to take a vacation from my life as it is.

Jk. Nah, jk. I'm really his fiance, guys, I'm just trying to sound funny. Bet you're mad jealous of me.

*******
I just don't want to watch his show this week because it makes me really sad, and I don't need the TV shoving heartbreak in my face when everyone's just trying to get by day by day. Only a portion of the population knows exactly how it feels; but what they feel is real, and it makes me sad that in a few decades it will just be something that happened to their parents, something read about in history books, like Pearl Harbor.
*******
On a lighter note, I watched some Lost with the bff today. Good times. I wish the rent liked Lost better, because there's no way she's paying thirty-five to fifty dollars to buy Season II. And there's no way I'm buying it, when I have a dress on EBAY I'm looking at, and Christmas to save up for, and I currently am unemployed (hoping to change that soon when my friend quits and I get his job). Yizzle. I missed Sawyer and his witty allusions to literary works and pop culture references. That man is awesome. I had a love hate-relationship with him, but now he's totally one of my fav. on the island. Besides the wonderful SAEED and MR EKO!!!!!! Perfect men, I'm telling you. They know how to kill anything that gets in their way. And they do it with the air and mystique of a lost soul on a paranormal island. Oh, yeah, and I love Desmond because he's so cute and SCOTTISH!! Um, hello? I

Seriously, I think Season III is going to make me poop my pants. The cliffhangers, the cliffhangers.

Stuff

Winner: Jeffrey
Going home: Vincent

MY EVALUATION

1. Jeffrey- Jeffrey may still be an ass, but he totally deserved to win this. His plaid dress was fierce, as Tyra Banks would say. I would wear that thing....ok, maybe not, but I'd gaze at it and wish I could wear it. It was the only dress that was unique or different.

2. Vincent- Wow, what a creep! Had no idea he was such a perv. Anyway, this dress was so boring and cheaply made. Thank God he's going home.

3. Kayne- I LOVE KAYNE. I was so happy he stayed. I thought his dress was gorgeous. I'm in love with it. I didn't think it looked garish or vulgar at all. So he likes some sequins, give the guy a break. It was executed very nicely, and Kayne looks like such a nice guy, who could not like him?

4. Laura- I like Laura more and more as a person since she became pregnant. Don't know why. But this dress was nothing special. She knew it too. Still, I'd love if she could design one of those sweet deep v-neck dresses for me. Call me!

5. Michael- Didn't particulary like the dress, but I still think Michael is the most talented designer.

6. Uli- Beautiful dress, lovely color. I hope she goes far.



In other news, guys, here are some boring resolutions I've made today.

1. I wear too much mascara.
2. I don't know anything about cameras.
3. Pills & Soup is possibly the funniest sounding song I've ever heard. Only a short man with big ass glasses like Elvis Costello can pull that off.

I'M RICH, BITCH!! lol. No, but I am slightly famous and will achieve outstanding ovations (get it haha) in Belmar when everyone sees how cool I am. No, what they will really see is how lucky I am to have family and friends who are so generous. Thanks everyone.

Interesting

Life is stressful enough as it is, I really don't need guys like Sean Penn getting between me and my bff. Technically he's still Chrissy's, but lately he's been all up in my face, calling me and texting me and asking me out to nice dinners and buying me all these expensive necklaces and earrings. I have to admit, it's very flattering but the situation is becoming increasingly awkward. Eventually I'll have to really tell Chrissy where the diamonds are coming from. And just the other day when I complimented Sean Penn, she half-jokingly said, "He's mine, bitch! I had him first!" I said, "Oh, I know, I know!" Because it's the truth. But still. The times have changed. A love square begins.

School

First day of school! Went great, seem to like all my classes with the exception of just one. Hurrah. Unfortunately, no one told me about the AP English Assignment over the summer, so I'm writing essays on The Crucible as we speak.

Beautiful, Slightly Mental

This is Preston Sharp, the sensitive poet cowboy on ABC's Extreme Makeover Home Edition. If you're not Anderson Cooper, you might as well be Preston.

Updates

Sometimes I get nervous that Belle and Sebastian is the only music I can listen to. It's been two years now, and I think my love of them only grows. I listen to B&S, Looper, The Gentle Waves...everything Belle and S. related. If Stevie had a band, too, I'd love it just as much.

I dreamt I was on a dock of a lake, like the one in What Lies Beneath. David Duchovny and some blonde older chick was watching me from a window. I fell under, where a sea creature took me , yelling in a Spanish accent, "I kill you! I kill you! I take you to my underwater lair!" He sounded like Cartman if he was Cheech or Chong. Now I laugh about it. But when I woke up, I was terrorfied. It was scary!! I woke up and was like, "Noooooooooo" JK. But I woke up and then I went back to dreaming. DAVID DUCHOVNY WAS IN MY DREAM. And I got kidnapped by a sea monster. Ok. That's like a cruel twist of fate. There was nothing like being rescused from aliens by Fox Mulder. Nothing cool like that.

Actors always pop up in my dreams. Adrien Brody, Crispin Glover, Michael J. Fox. But they're acting- usually they're just characters in the play that is my dream. Except when it comes to that sweet dream I had the other night where I was in Switzerland during Christmas time with Anderson Cooper on a honeymoon. Does it get better than that? Noo, I'm afraid it doesn't.

My Netflix List

Caterina in the Big City, Jandek on Corwood, Orphic Trilogy: The Blood of a Poet, Orphic Trilogy: Orpheus, Orphic Trilogy: Testament of Orpheus, Great Writers: Jean Cocteau, The 400 Blows.

Caterina in the Big City is a great movie, and I wanted to show my parents the film. Jandek on Corwood just looks interesting, even if Jandek is a tosser. Items three-six are some of my favorite things, and The 400 Blows looks mega interesting. Plus, Ebert told me to see it.

Hehe, Sorry!

You're all invited to my wedding to Anderson Cooper. I hope you all come, it's going to be super cool. We're honeymooning in Switzerland.

Wedding

You're all invited to my wedding to Anderson Cooper.

George

George Clooney has pretty much been my #2 guy for a long while. Whether he was saving lives on ER, lookin' to fornicate in "O Brother...", or just generally being George Clooney and scoring chicks, he was always my second place pick after Joaquin. (more on how that's changed later) However, I find that times have sadly changed. Granted, Clooney is extremely good looking, and he has magnetic charm and intelligence that is attractive in a person. Yes, I'd probably go crazy if I saw him or got the chance to speak to him. But there are some negatives I find in the Cloonster that makes me less crazy about him.


One being that he is forty five years old and he's not settled down. I don't know why I care. I don't think it's wrong to be a bachelor at an older age, and I think it's actually smart of him to choose not to commit to a marriage as opposed to marrying and just not caring. I've always said, better not to get married, and better not to have kids, than mess up your life with those two decisions if you know they won't agree with you. But then the trust issues factor into the situation. Cloonster isn't married because he's a two-timing cheater who knows he is a God amongst men and likes to use his status as Chick Magnet to score any convenient bimbo available.

Even though he's never looked like a total jerk, George knows most women would jump at the chance to be with him. Including myself. Take back everything I've said, I am a female and as hopeless as they come to the charms of the Cloonster. If everything doesn't work out with Anderson, you know.

The Kevin Bacon Thing Game

How I'm Connected to Filmmaker/Poet/Extraordinaire JEAN COCTEAU

1. Our friend from the post office opened up for Joe Perry when he was in his kick-ass band, Secret Syde.

2. Joe Perry was in Aerosmith with Steven Tyler.

3. Steven Tyler's daughter Liv was in a movie with or somehow involved with Jean Marais (I think. Don't look this up because it might discredit my whole connection to Cocteau)

4. Jean Marais- Jean Cocteau= lovers
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts

I hate Jandek.

I don't know how I'm going to stay up for Anderson Cooper 360 once school starts.

Skittles don't taste good anymore.

It's raining a lot, and we're not even near the hurricane.

The H&M website finally makes sense.

Wickerman is scary good.

Project Runway Evaluation

As far as Project Runway goes, I'm becoming addicted. I wish I had the talent and ability to make my own clothes. I'd totally make Angela's Audrey Hepburn dress. In all different colors, like Florrie Fisher. But not everyone on PR is talented. Ok, whatever- they're all talented but I really don't like some of them. Let's discuss this.

Michael- Michael is probably the top designer at this point. I've never seen him do anything NOT perfect. The Pam Grier thing was so well made, and I loved the look he sported for himself on this episode's special runway edition. Michael will win this. I also like his cute smile and how he never disses anyone. That's my boy.

Vincent- Vincent's ok. I take comfort in the fact that he sounds like my family from Staten Island, and is a fellow Italian like me (except he's probably full blooded, and I'm Gaelic/Garlic). Anyway, enough of that crap- Vincent has made some really good things like the Twiggy dress (What were the judges thinking? I would've worn it) and some things that are more....eeeeh. The Harry Winston Comment was hysterical, too. So yeah, I like Vincent.

Laura- Laura has "New England Yuppie" written all over her, and yeah, she's pretty intense. But I do like all her dresses, and I would wear them myself if I could. I also like how she hates Jeffrey.

Jeffrey- Jeffrey's like that annoying guy you know who is in his thirties but still thinks he's going to be a rock star. It's like, no, those tattooes on your neck only emphasis how Q-Tip shaped you are, Jeffrey. And How dare he treat Angela's mother like that!! And don't get me started on Jeffrey's mom- She's all, "Jeffrey's been through a lot," when Angela's Mom was crying. Shut up bitch. At the root of jealous Jeffrey is a bunch of problems like insecurity. I was so mad when his stupid pin striped ugly zippered pants won him a challenge. If I ever met him, you might have to hold me back from smacking the shit out of him. Oh, yeah, and that outfit has been done. So many times before.

Angela- Angela made some beautiful things, and some God awful ugly things. But I think she's very talented, and a nice person who thinks for herself and doesn't care what Jeffrey thinks about her. Angela is cool.

Kayne- Kayne's Marilyn Monroe dress is my favorite article of clothing featured on the entire season. Damn. It rocked! Kayne is funny and seems like a nice guy, but I hope he doesn't make a huge mistake in the next episode- he's been almost eliminated twice. He needs to forget his redneck, "gentleman caller" past and start stealing ideas from Laura and Michael.

Uli- Uli is adorable, and I like all of her funky prints that I know I'll never be able to pull off. I just want to see her do different things.

Hmm, I know I must be forgetting someone. I'll think of it later. Also, I really really liked Keith Michael. He looked like a skeevy Jacob Dylan. He'd probably be one of the contenders to win. I know every Wednesday he watches and cries. :-( Oh, well.

I want to see them make an outfit for a rock star. Like Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Costello, Elvis Presley, and Janis Joplin or something. And on that same challenge I want Jeffrey to go home.

Got my schedule. Who the heck gets PE first period? I thought it was a myth.

I dreamt a girl I know from school was telling me about how she went to Paris this summer and fell in love with a boy there. She was so heartbroken, it was actually sad. He also looked like a young Elvis Costello, minus the glasses and the bad teeth. Then I woke up :-( I wanted to see the ending. But I'm glad it ended where it did, in retrospect, since my kilt had flown up like nine times in public by that time.

Another Pet

adopt your own virtual pet!

My Pet Pig

adopt your own virtual pet!

Sleeping (?) is the Only Love

I'm babysitting birds and they really like music. They're always making these bouncy squeeky noises, until someone turns some music on. I've noticed they like vocals better than instrumentals. When the Belle and Sebastian Fans Only DVD is on, they turn around in their cage to gaze silently upon Stuart and Stevie, and Isobel and the other Stuart on the quaint Glasgow (Edinburgh? looked like the street I stayed on in the video for LAZY LINE PAINTER JANE), streets. They especially like "This Is Just a Modern Rock Song". I think that might be their best song. I just can't listen to it because it makes me sad :-( BOO HOO

I don't like aggressive music.

Well I don't feel good today because my legs hurt and I'm exhausted from staying up so late. But there's so much Anderson Cooper 360 to watch. It's one of those days where u just want to lay in bed and go to sleep. Oh, man, what can you do.

Punks in the Beerlight

Summer is almost ended, and I'm glad. I hate the summer. Sure, I like sleeping late and no school, but I hate the weather and.... I start to miss school. I know I'm going to regret I ever said that in February. I like school in September through Winter Break. Then, there's no going back. I can't stand the Third-Fourth Marking Period. Teachers still trying to grasp onto any control they once had over the classroom. Giving too many reports, realizing they aren't done with the curriculum yet. It's fun, though, when we all slack off. Then of course finals... :-(

Bring in the Autumn

Bring in the Autumn. I am so tired of this summer in the twenty-first century global warming disaster. I want Halloween. I want to dress up as Elvis Costello or June Carter. I want Thanksgiving. I want to gain three pounds in stuffing. I want Christmas. I want the decorations, the Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer claymation, cookies, and the Brian Setzer Orchestra Concert. Plus, I want presents.

Rock Lobster

Masses vs. Classes

I have this crazy relationship with the Manic Street Preachers. I'm the only American, non-goth girl who knows who they are.

Real Post

On Saturday is the baptism, and I'm wearing a really nice v-neck dress that I bought the other day at Lord and Taylor. I'm going to be bloated when I wear it, so I'm going on a crash diet the next few days to ensure that the only weight I'll be carrying is the bloat that comes with the guarantee of the ability to bear children, and not some extra ice cream/carbs plushy stuff.

Honestly, I really hate weight issues. When I hit puberty I was the butt of many fat jokes from my Dad, which kind of confounds everybody in my family because I'm not, and have never been, fat. But whatever. I just want to fit into my dress and not be a crazy, hormonal bitch.

There's a man in the back of the boat in that painting of Washington crossing the Deleware who looks just like Tom Cruise. He is wrapped in a tan blanket, and holding a gun. It's all a Scientology conspiracy. And no, I didn't get my free personality test today, although I could've if we weren't running around so much. I'd love to do that just for kicks. How much fun would that be? "Hi, I'm interested in getting a free personality test."

Head on Apply Directly to the Forehead

I was tuning on the shine of the light night dial
Doing anything my radio radio advised
With everyone of those late night stations
Playing songs bringing tears to my eyes
I was seriously thinking about hiding the receiver
When the switch broke cuz it's old
They're saying things that I can hardly believe
They really think we're getting out of control.

Radio is a sound salvation
Radio is cleaning up the nation
They say you better listen to the voice of reason
But they don't give you any choice
Because they think that it's treason
So you had better do as you are told
You better listen to the radio.

I wanna bite the hand that feeds me
I wanna bite that heand so badly
I want to make them wish they'd never seen me

Some of my friends they sit around every evening
And they worry about the times ahead
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference
And the promise of an early death
You either shut up or get cut up;
They don't want to hear about it,
It's only inches on the reel to reel
And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools
Trying to anaesthetise the way that you feel.

Facts Project

Here are twenty interesting facts about myself.

1. When I was little, I had recurring dreams of being lost in a mansion run by mechanical elves, much like the "It's A Small World" ride thing at Disney World.

2. Recurring characters in my dreams include Owen Wilson, Crispin Glover, Michael J. Fox, and David Cross.

3. I love vintage dresses, and buy clothes from a Red Bank thrift shop, Backward Glances, occassionally.

4. In seventh grade, I was a huge hippy.

5. My first concert was NSYNC, but then I worked my way up into coolness with a No Doubt concert, Bruce Springsteen, and BOB DYLAN!!!

6. Halloween is my second favorite holiday.

7. I love doing needlework- crotcheting, knitting, cross stitching.

8. Winter is my favorite month because of my birthday, Christmas, and the coziness of it being cold outside and warm inside!

9. I rock at mini-golf, and make bets that I will win each time I play. (I'm always right).

10. I thought that on Y2K, the lights would go out and the world would end.

11. When I was little, I convinced myself I saw Santa Claus and an elf by my Christmas tree. My imagination was really overactive, what can I say?

12. My oldest brother would hold me and run down the stairs when I was a little girl. I seem to remember him dropping me, and flying down the stairs!!!! (Like Superman). This is probably a dream.....

13. Last year I didn't believe in dinosaurs. Not for religious reasons, but because the whole idea of dinosaurs is just so weird.

14. On Easter 1996, my mom and I were sick, so we slept downstairs on the couch. Next to the couch we had all our medecine, soda, crackers, etc. I couldn't sleep so I stared out the window and saw lights from the sky, like a UFO.

15. I met Yoko Ono.

16. I know that Tom Cruise is gay and sterile from a pretty reliable source (? You can never really tell, but I believe him).

17. I played with dolls until I was twelve years old.

18. I read all the American Girl books, and loved Molly the most.

19. My favorite instrument is the violin.

20. I knew about the whole McGreevey scandal beforehand, because of my seriously cool connections.

Books Continued

1. Night- Night is the best book that I have read all year round in school. I'd read it before, but reading it a second time I saw it in a new light.

2. If Not Now, When?- I read this after Night, and liked it a lot. I reccomend it to everybody for a fast read.

3. Slouching Toward Nirvana- I was attracted to this book because of its super cool title and it's very pretty cover. For some reason, Bukowski's poems read like stories- you feel like you know him, you feel like you're there with him as he yells at the black guys stealing his tv, and as he works in various factories, small jobs, etc. Some people think Bukowski is a load of crap, and that he's pretentious. Whatever. All I know is I remember literally all of his poems in Slouching Toward Nirvana, and I loved each one.

4. Hip: A History- I CAN'T RECCOMEND THIS ENOUGH. Buy it. Borrow it. Just read it. Yes, sometimes while you're reading you stop and think, "What the heck is he talking about"? But I love reading about the precursors of hip, and Walt Whitman and the orginal beats and American bohemians.

5. Leaves of Grass- Speaking of Walt Whitman, this is the most perfect anthology of published poems. Walt Whitman just tears and rips at your consciousness and you feel his words seeping into your veins. They aren't poems for recluses, or poems for the introverted sulker. Leaves of Grass is tuned to the poetry of life and all its rhythyms (sp? I know, I know) and passion. Walt Whitman is by far the best American poet.

6. Walden- Not just something Eric Cartman plagiarized. Walden chronicles Thoreau's life in the woods, and all his ideas on government, taxes, and life in general. The last twenty pages are amazing. I read just those pages from time to time, and hanged some quotes up on my wall. Thoreau is the man.

7. Chronicles V. One- BOB DYLAN! I read this in a day. I really liked reading about what Bob read, and what poets and authors he liked. I can't tell you how much I love Bob. It borders on obsession. My mom makes fun of me and Chrissy for being so crazy. For watching No Direction Home three times in one day. But you shouldn't criticize what you can't understand.

8. The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde managed to write the coolest plot line ever. I read the first few pages about a billion times over.

More Books, School

10. Les Enfants d'Terribles- Ok. I know this is written wrong. But don't get mad, it's late and I'm tired, and I'm an Italian student. Jean Cocteau is possibly one of my favorite people that I don't know, Bob Dylan being Number One in that list, of course. I think Cocteau was a really cool director, and I love the whole aura of poetry and artistry that surrounds him. This was unlike anything I've ever read, but I still enjoyed it immensly.

11. Jane Eyre- Obviously I didn't read Cocteau in school, although in an alternate universe we would have. Jane Eyre marks my first book read in school this year, and it was a disappointing way to start off what turned out to be a pretty bad school year. Jane Eyre is the most boring book I have ever read, and I love Nineteenth Century British Lit. It's all about Heathcliff, everyone. But I could never get into Jane Eyre. Ick.

12. Black Boy- Black Boy was alright. I wished we had read the Communism part, but of course we were told it wasn't "necessary" and we altogether stopped reading the book. Stupid.

13. Julius Caesar- Y-izzle. Shakespeare is cool as hell and you know it. I really enjoyed Julius Caesar. Of course, it helped that we watched the Brando film. :-)

14. Lord of the Flies- Ehh, it's ok. My friend hated it, but I thought it was alright.

15. Twelve Angry Men- More like Twelve Angry Yawns, even though I had a big role when we read it out loud.

16. Tess of the D'Urbervilles- We didn't actually read this, but instead watched the movie. I loved it. All the girls did. Poor boys.

17. Medea- I played Tom Cruiseius, the sterile friend. I read this last year, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have if this crazy tale of Courtney Love were fresh and new to me.

18. Poetry Section- Why are we forced to read boring Emily Dickinson and the quintessential Robert Frost? Why can't we read....Ginsberg, William Carlos Williams, Buckowski, Shakespeare, Byron, Yeats- ANYONE but Emily Dickinson. And why must all these poets be white New Englanders?? No wonder people hate poetry at my school.

19. This Other Greek Play- Forget what it was called. But this girl's brother died in battle, and she wanted to bury him, but the King forbade her because her brother was a traitor. It ended in three deaths. I loved it!!

20. Short Stories- How come I love short stories, but just never the ones we read in school?

moral of the story-- most of high school lit. is boring and shouldn't be read.

Books I Have Read

MY LIST OF SOME BOOKS SHE HAS READ THIS YEAR,
AND WHAT SHE THOUGHT ABOUT THOSE BOOKS

1. The Bell Jar- Wow, this is possibly the most addicting book I have ever read. You become totally immersed in it. I hate Sylvia Plath's poems, but this is one of the best things I've ever read. I took it out of the school library, and someone who had previously borrowed it left a cut-out of a gun in between the pages. That was seriously messed up. I like to think that person killed himself, jk.

2. Rosemary's Baby- I love the movie, and have seen it several times this year, so I decided to take out the real thing. I love Rosemary Whitehouse; she's so cute and unsuspecting until she becomes consumed with paranoia. If I were her, though, I would have killed myself and the baby; it was Satan, for God's sake. She's all like, "I suppose since it's half human, it could turn out good." Yeah, right. But still, a great book.

3. The Catcher in the Rye- I used to hate Salinger because he was a precursor to emo. Plus, how many times can you italicize and say "phony" in the course of two pages? Salinger is the sort of author who lives underground in a tunnel and only comes out to go food shopping. Still, Catcher in the Rye surprised me, and I grade it a B. Even though the man who shot John Lennon held this while shooting him, and it's every murderer's favorite book.

4. Franny and Zooey- Read the first two sentences of my Catcher in the Rye review. I felt like it had a lot of promise, but then got wrapped up in its phoniness and it's sarcasm and hateful characters. However, I was sick when I was reading it, so maybe that's why I was so impatient with these spoiled, rich brats. I read it a second time, a few months later, and enjoyed it more. Still, I'm not too crazy about Franny and Zooey.

5. Nine Stories- THIS IS MY FAVORITE. I love Nine Stories. I don't understand how a guy who wrote pretty annoying books could write great stories that kept me up all night. The story, The Laughing Man (or something) was so tragic, omg. omg.omg.omg.omg.omgzzzz read dissss jk. but really, read Nine Stories, because it doesn't dissapoint anyone. People hate Catcher, and F&Z, but everyone is down with Nine Stories.

6. Don Juan- I love Byron, what can I say? People saw this and told me it looked amazingly boring. But it wasn't.

7. The Claudine Novels- Ok, ok, I only read Claudine at School, but I still liked it. Even though Claudine was annoying, and sort of mean, I thought it was very funny. I didn't know that every French person was lesbian, male or female.

8. Barrell Fever- My introduction to Sedaris. I searched all over the bookstore for anything Sedaris, and finally found this. Luckily, my mom's car broke down in the parking lot, so we were stranded in the greatest place in the world, Barnes and Noble. It was a very cold winter day, so I bought a cookie and a drink and curled up in one of those big, overstuffed chairs and read this while waiting. I nearly shit my pants. I still do. People say that "Me Talk Pretty One Day" is his greatest work, but I'll always think Barrel Fever is.

9. Go Ask Alice- Dear, Lord. I borrowed this on a whim because it's such a notorious book, and quite frankly I wanted to read about some crazy hippies smoking pot and driving big ass buses. What I got instead was the most poorly written excuse for a diary I've ever read, and a bunch of right-wing propaganda, barely masked as a non-fiction, true story. Drugs are Bad. Don't do Drugs. Crack is Wack. I believe those things. But I don't believe that smoking pot turns you into a lesbian. And I don't believe smoking pot makes you rip your eyes out, claw at your face, and end up in a hospital. Whoever likes this book sadly has never read much. I just want to punch Alice in the face. As you can see, reading this fueled me to do the complete adverse of the supposed moral of the story.

10. Actual Air- DC Berman. I like DC Berman, he is the man.All I can say, I guess.

David Sedaris

Just Don't Hit the Ball

Oh, my gosh it is still soo warm out. I'm glad I'm sleeping downstairs tonight; I hate how hot and musty upstairs gets.

Later I'm going shopping for a dress at the mall. I'm looking for something nice to wear to A's party. Then of course I'm going to H&M and blowing all my money. I want to look for cute, casual dresses that I can just wear to school. I wish I had Edie Sedgwick's wardrobe. The problem, of course, is that I wouldn't fit into any of it. I'm the fat Sienna Miller.

Someone once told me I look like Liv Tyler with shorter hair and a rounder face. That's a huge compliment, and an even bigger lie. I don't look like her at all. I just have the same hair and face color.

There are actual beads of sweat on my legs, btw.

This week has been full of weird dreams. I dreamt that David Cross (who is in like every other dream of mine) was on the Yankees, and he was actually really good. He was giving me advice that went something like this: "You have to get up there, and not give a crap about the game. Show your genitals, pick your face, anything- just don't hit the ball."

i'm not even here- bob dylan

Excuse my stupidity. I posted the video twice. I've forgotten HTML. I'm not a Wizard like some of my friends are.

What I really wanted to accomplish was for you to play "Slow Graffiti" while you read my saddish post. I thought it'd be very twee, but it'll just be emo***. So the option is yours.

I saw Lady in the Water tonight. Unlike the Village, I'm not entirely sure it was a disaster. It didn't suck, but it wasn't great, either. It was odd, to say the least. M. Night Shymalan was SMOKING lol. X-y was right when she said he was adorable. We had some good laughs, I guess. Parts of it were funny, although probably unintentionally so.

I'm sort of sad because that post I wrote before about missing Scotland is so true. I was in my newly Scottish room (the flag, the books, the kilts, the photos) and I held the rock I stole from Glencoe. Yes, instead of taking photographs and leaving only memories (or something), I took a rock from the Valley of Tears. Ok, I take that part back, that's emo. I did steal a rock though. I held and sniffed it; it smelled kind of cool. I realized it was probably related to a rock that my ancestors, the Macdonalds, stepped on while fleeing for their lives up the mountains from the Campbells (one of which is featured in the Belle and Sebastian video. Isobel Campbell, the pretty one with yellow hair). I felt like I was the only person sweating buckets in the NJ heat, and that I was in the wrong place. I really ought to be hanging out with sheep or something.

The whole experience can be described as deja vu. You know when you smell something and it reminds you of your grandma, or baking cookies with your mom when you were a kid? Or when you see something that reminds you of childhood or a friend or someone. All those nostalgic feelings. Scotland was just like that, except all those feelings I experienced were odd beceuse I'd never been there before.

Boo hoo. :-( It's only going to be worse because tomorrow I'm watching Finding Neverland, and (gasp) EDWARD SCISSORHANDS. This will keep me in a funk for weeks. There is nothing like a good Tim Burton film to make you feel sad for a week. Unless it's Pee Wee's Big Adventure, of course. Then you just feel like you've been hit by a train.

Maybe I was born on a train. haha

Actually, i'm ok, I just wish that I was in a cooler place like Scotland, where everything is beautiful and the food is alright, and the sheep are cute, and the accents are fun. Good lord lol.



*** Disclaimer- The author is not emo. She doesn't write faux-sad poetry, doesn't have a crazy angular haircut, and doesn't own a pair of straight leg jeans. Nor is she attracted to weepy guys in bands who wear eyeliner. And finally, she doesn't own a Myspace account. Wow.

will this work?

will this work?

In Other News...

I mentioned before that it's very hot. In fact, it's 107 degrees. On days like this, I stay inside. I really hope this isn't global warming. If it is, we have got to do something about it fast, because the sweater is my favorite clothing item, and I miss the winters that are so cold your nose is always red and you need to wear two pairs of socks 24/7. I wanted to see "An Inconvenient Truth", but never got the chance because I was out of the country (that sounds so cool), and also I already feel depressed enough when I watch The Daily Show.

I made a promise that this summer I would read more books than any other summer in the history of myself. So far, it hasn't been going so well. I can't find any books I want to read. Also, I managed to become a stereotypical girl and spend all my money on clothes at Forever 21. But the dresses are only $25!! However, I did find a book at the library yesterday. I was mad that they didn't have any Carter Family CDs, and I was even angrier that "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" was taken out. Seriously, someone is just NOT returning that book back. Each time I go, that book is checked out. Anyway, I was texting, like I do almost all the time, when I noticed the signs that said PLEASE TURN OFF ALL CELLULAR PHONES. I didn't want to risk getting caught my the Asian lady, so I found a little chair in the back of the library and texted away. After I clicked "Send", I looked at the shelves to see what section I had come across. It was the short story aisle. I loove short stories. I found Joyce Carol Oate's selected short story book. I think it was called The Oxford Edition of American Short Stories, or something like that. Yeeees. So I sat down and read William Carlos William's "The Pimply-Faced Girl", and decided that I should check it out.

So I went home and read the Introduction in bed, where I decided that I'd read everything in chronological order. The anthology started with Rip Van Winkle, which is possibly the scariest story ever written. Washington Irving was such a freak! He was like the Quaker Oats Guy on LSD or something. But I liked it, anyway. I'm going to like figuring out which is better; the eighteenth and nineteenth century lit, or the latter years. Chances are, I'll probably like the older stuff better.

Because it's sweltering, I just remembered that I actually know someone who doesn't believe in global warming. ????? This is definitely proof that it exists. This morning, it was COOLER IN FLORIDA. NEW JERSEY WAS HOTTER THAN FLORIDA THIS MORNING. That is so very very wrong.

Long Time, No See

I think that Scotland is the most beautiful place in the world and I had so much fun there, and everyone's seen the pictures blah blah blah. Really, though, Scotland is the hippest place. Ever. No questions asked. I miss it already, and I have dreams about it almost every other night. Then of course I also dream that I'm Michael J. Fox and Captain Hook (aka Keith Richards) is after my stool. But these dreams are very heartbreaking because it's one thing to miss Scotland and stuff, but to be in NJ in the middle of a heatwave while missing it sucks even more. I've become such an emotional Celtic trainwreck whenever I see pictures of Scotland. I can hardly listen to Belle and Sebastian anymore. Neither can I watch any movie starring Sean Connery. Ever. Ever. Again.

Until I live in Scotland ;-). I didn't want to leave AT ALL. I'm sorry, everybody, but I wasn't homesick. There was still so much to do!!! I think next time I go back I'm going to the Islands, and of course Glasgow, where my family is from.

This Is Just a Test

My computer has been working horribly, so hopefully this will go through and I'll be able to tell if I can post today.