"Aprire". PUREE??

Today I was sitting around, just being myself, when my friend asked me when I had gotten so cool.

"What are you talking about?"
"I always thought you were a bit of a nerd, but the past few weeks I've come to know the real you."
(My general reaction being WTF, I'm still the same)

it's funny how ppl think i'm a total nerd until they get to know me as the trash talkin', wise crackin'"fiery Irish biotch". With nerdish tendencies. Whatever.

Then we were talking about how the first week of school this year I got at least five comments like,

"WOW! You look so different than last year! You're attractive!"

Gee, thanks! It's good to know I'm an example of an ugly duckling story.

"Well, guys are douches," he tells me. Then, "Especially that one," pointing to the gay black Junior who shaved off his eyebrows and has a bad Jerri Curl.

"That's true, that's true.'

I've also gotten, "Wow, last year you were just like, I'm little Laura and this year you're all bom chicka bom bom."

Well, maybe I'm "bom chicka bom bom" because this year I'm not sick as Hell, and I'm not giving birth to kidney stone babies. That puts a damper on your personality.

I'm writing this facing a really hot guy in the library at school. The tension is palpable. Ok, well at least for me it is. He's so funny, and slightly fey in that weird Franz Ferdinand gay way. He's like one of the smartest guys at school.

What else can I write about? Let's think................. Nah, I can't really think of anything else. Um, I'm reading David Eggers' "You Shall Know Our Velocity!" which of course garners much attention from my illiterate peers who read, "You Shall Know Our- what??", bending their heads over to see the title.

"Our Velocity. It's about these two guys who travel the world, giving millions of dollars out to people. But it's not really that sappy."

"Oh, ok. Sounds cool."

I wrote a story yesterday in creative writing and the opening line was, "All this had happened after I lost my job, got mugged in Mexico, and buried my wife in the parking lot of the Holiday Inn." There was an odd silence and Max said, "OHH SHIT" and everyone laughed. Well, I channel weirdness in my writing. I don't write stories about boring people with boring problems. I mean, I think about the stories I've actually completely written and finished,

and they're about dysfunction, Eraserhead, and shoplifting,

as opposed to random ish that people write.

I don't think I'm a good poet, because everytime I hold the pen with the intention of writing a poem, my mind overflows with lyrics that I wish I had written, lyrics that I can't write.

"Eleanor, put your boots back on..."
"You're dreaming of the one you really love..."
"Another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken.."
"Six months on, the winter's gone and this enchanted pony..."
"Smack my bitch up" (JK)
"There's a world outside, and I know cuz I've heard talk."

I can't live up to that. There's nothing I could possibly write or possibly say that is as good as the above aforementioned, and nothing I write could ever live up to its significance.

(Take a fifteen minute break, make some latkes, return to the blog)

In my neverending quest to find a wedding song, I ask myself: Why are the most romantic songs so sad? Take the music No Distance Left to Run. Beautiful. It's great. I want to dance to it. But it's so anti-romance.

So the real question I must answer is WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE LOVE SONG?? It must lack cliche, but musn't have dark undertones like every other song. It needs to be happy. It needs to be perfect. Why is it so hard to find??