Um....

Hi. I wonder how many posts I have made that somehow incorporate the word "um".

Third marking period=crap. I'm ashamed of myself.

Anyway, I'm bugging. WTF am I going to do with my life? Um, do you realize in THREE YEARS I need to know what career to take??????? WHAAAAAAAAA? Since when did I grow up?

"I'm an asshole and proud of it!"

This is a true representation of American suburbia. And it scares me.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond

any experience,your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near



your slightest look will easily unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose



or if your wish be to close me, i and

my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility:whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing



(i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens;only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands


-e. e. cummings

Reviewing Some Books P. One

I recently read the quintessential biography on Zelda Fitzgerald, the aptly named ZELDA. All I had known prior to reading was that Zelda A) Was Fitzgerald's wife, and he was madly in love with her and that B)She went insane. I completely thought of her as the victim of cruel fate, some romantic idealized figure. Then I read ZELDA, and I was like, "Wow, this bitch is crazy."

Because she really was. I mean,she did go insane. But so did everyone else. What I mean is, Zelda in her youth reminds me of this girl I know who is not only completely insane, but a real sociopath. She exhibits the same behaviors. They both contain an inability to form real lasting friendships, they both crave attention, and are really annoying.

So all those traits irked me, and I hated Zelda, just as I really dislike this girl. Ok.

Then when she went batshit insane I felt really bad for her, and I saw how truly unhappy she was underneath all the partying. Scott and Zelda were both selfish and self-absorbed people, and their relationship truly can be considered

the best love hate relationship

ever

more later.

Blake on AI is Hawwtt

I'd actually buy anything Blake Lewis puts out. This is the first time I've ever really liked anyone on Idol. I mean, last year I liked Taylor just because I hated Katherine McPhee. The season before that I kind of liked Bo. Before that I really didn't give a shit.
BUT THIS YEAR I GIVE A SHIT.

And that shit is Blake Lewis. I'd really like him to go far. Do I want him to win? NO. I don't want Idol to own his soul. I want him to get like runner up or third place.

SANJAY had better win.

Sooo...

SOOOO....

American Idol last night was truly surreal.

From Lulu's craziness, to Chris Sligh's shout outs to VFTW, to Ryan's inappropriate hand gestures, to that crazy crying girl-

WTF??

Why was that girl crying? I saw her, and thought, "Oh, that girl must have cancer and they brought her to see Idol. Good for her, I hope she's having fun." BUT GUESS WHAT???? She cried during the whole thing. She wouldn't stop. It stopped being CUTE, and became very scary. Because that girl seems emotionally disturbed. I have been to some emotional concerts before, and trust me, I have never sobbed like that little girl.

I'm thinking she was a plant by the producers somehow??? IDK.

BLAKE IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting Thing I Found

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

At Least I'm Selfish

On second thought, at least I'm in the present NOW and won't have to deal with the shit my descendants do. Oh my gosh, guys, I'm sorry things are so messed up on this planet and in this nation. Just remember the great things America has brought into the world: The Lost Generation, Bob Dylan, and The X-Files and Afterschool Specials. Hold onto that. HOLD. ON. TO. THAT.

An open letter to my descendants:

I don't know what the world will be like when you are living, but I am guessing that if I were around I would hate it. Here are some words I want you to live by:

1. Enjoy sleeping- Get a good night's rest so you'll be ready for the Nuclear Holocaust.

2. Try To Develop Cultural Identity- Look in the mirror, my probably brown by now descendents. I know you're Mexican, but if you're pale like I am (or was) , pick a random European culture to pretend you are. Base everything off your color.

3. Read The Great Gatsby- Just because it's so great.

4. Always Carry Toothpaste- Toothpaste is not only helpful for your smile, but for your skin since the baking soda will shrink your zits.

5. Never Trust Government- Even if the future holds a great idealistic, happy government with seemingly NO problems, don't trust them because sooner or later something shitty will happen and it'll all just go back to the beginning.

6. Listen To Great Music- I know you are probably heartless zombies by now, but please listen to some good music for your great great great great great great grandma, k, children? It'll melt your heart and make your robotic soul cry.

7. Be Patient- If you're like me, and are mostly fiery Irish and have a bitchy streak, learn some patience, laddie/lassie. Don't worry if you seem like the only one who didn't sprout wings as a result of that freaky nuclear waste spill. Maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to be as unfortunate as your friends.

8. Take Some Advice From A Great Grandmom- MOVE OUT OF THE COUNTRY! LEAVE! GO TO NORWAY! MOVE TO NORWAY!

I'm Scared

America is a nation made up of many descendants of immigrants. Even though most people are of mixed heritage, I think it's safe to say that Americans have a cultural heritage and tradition. Because in the grand scope of things, we're new Americans. Look at me, for example. What am I, third/fourth generation American? Now imagine years from now where 74th generation Americans will be walking around.

And what happens then? With the passage of time, will my descendants have no cultural heritage, with the exception of the weird adaption of Americana? Is it true that the more further and further away we get from our roots, the less identity we have? I can't imagine my grandchildren NOT using Italian American slang and making gnocchi and broccoli rabe. And I can't imagine my grandchildren NOT tearing up when they hear a bagpipe and getting all patriotic and shit about the beautiful country that is Scotland, and I can't imagine them NOT enjoying fried pizza and fried animal innards.

What is going to happen?? Americans will just morph into this one scary race of ppl with no cultural identity but what's on television. WELCOME TO AMERICA.

a surge of confidence

on second thought, no laura, it wasn't stupid to take those courses.

because you are invinsible.

seriously. i am smart. and i can do anything. because i'm laura fiorelli, i'm scottish AND italian. that's the greatest combo ever. and marcello mastroianni is my hot hot dead boyfriend and we rock out.

suckkeerrs

A Sad Day For Me

Well, kinda.

You see, my beloved Non Lips forum has completely fallen apart due to incompetent moderators and a lot of paranoid weird under the surface conspiracies against certain people. It makes me sad. Lots of people who have cheered me up on a regular basis for two whole years are leaving. :-(

I think I'll go watch some YOUTUBE To Catch A Predator and cheer myself up.

BTW- Was it dumb of me to sign up for THREE APs next year?

Laura Talks About 8 1/2

If you've never seen 8 1/2, you are not a complete and full human being.

I know how pretentious that sounds.

But it's actually true.

No film encompasses the human experience as much as 8 1/2. It is a gorgeous, gorgeous film. I mean, wow. Utterly speechless. I remember watching it on my portable DVD player at one in the morning, the only light coming from the screen.

It's an experience.

Watch This

Um, My Bad

Wow, how did I not write about how amazingly attractive Alex Kapranos is in that Franz Ferdinand video I posted?? Ummm, hello!!!!!!!!

Principal ButtSavage

Even though I'm not coughing anymore, I totally feel like the seasonal allergies are beginning. My eyes hurt, and are all watery and stuff.

Don't want to go to school tomorrow. Didn't study, didn't write my novel for creative writing, didn't do my math hw! IT'S SPRING!!!

"You Got Friends, Maaaa"

I feel like I know Jared Leto. I have said this before; but if there's past lives we were somehow connected. I've always been like, 'oh, yeah, Jared Leto', and the lightbulb that signifies familarity (SP?) would pop up. Because somehow I know Jared Leto.

And let me say he is the biggest douche. I mean, he's Jared Leto. Have you ever SEEN a 30 Seconds to Mars video? That's enough proof of his douche-ness right there. Then, combined with breaking his nose in a stagedive since his fans didn't even bother to catch him, and the fact that he's 36 years old and singing anthems for twelve year olds, it's like an extra mega douche dosage. You know what's funny though? He did ok in Requiem for a Dream, as well as his cute little butt. "Oh, my fucking arm!" But whatever. He's weird though. And you know what? I looooove weird people. I am a weird person. I respect weird people, even in Hollywood (except Tom Cruise, but that's another story). So Jared Leto has to be a huuuuge douche for me to dislike him because of his weirdness. He just gives off this odd unlikeable aura.

Oh my gosh, chances are I'll probably marry him or something stupid like that, due to this post.

Tell Her Tonight

No one rocks it out like Scottish men. Really.

Conclusions

1. Naked people are scary unless they're tall. Let's all bow to the supreme race!
2. Nicky is the prettiest member of Manic Street Preaches OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG . It's hard to be the only fan that isn't in love with Richey, because he's freaking EVERYWHERE. He didn't even play the guitar. He was just THERE. Writing lyrics and cutting himself. What about NICKY????
3. My sister- she is Number Four Prostitute in all of Kahzakstan!!!

HE CALLED THE SHIT POOP!!

Whenever I'm home sick, I rent what I am considering to be the greatest movie ever made. That is Billy Madison. Nothing compares to it.
It is complete genius. It is utter randomness, and in no point in this rambling, incoherent film does it come even close to a rational thought. May God have mercy on it's soul.

Lost Sucks

In case you haven't noticed, Lost has jumped the shark. Lost made a mad dash across this watery animal i think two episodes ago, whereupon I lost all hope. We were promised THREE VERY IMPORTANT ANSWERS. And all we got was Jack cavorting with some Korean whore. Love you long time. Anyway, Lost has fallen victim to its extraneous plot lines. No longer is the viewer even remotely interested. I realized that Lost had completely lost its flavour when I went to bed right after Idol last week without even THINKING about Lost. And the next day when I realized what I had done, I texted two of my Lost buddies what the episode was about. One replied:

Hurley found a VW bus with a dead guy in it. I watched the first ten minutes and then turned it off. IT SUCKED.

And the next:

Basically the most boring uneventful episode ever.

Therefore, I retract my love of Lost. This show is a disgrace. The X-Files are officially my favorite show ever. If Mulder and Scully were on the island, they'd kick everyone's ass and be off the island in no time.

X FILES > YOU

gy (that is what came up when my head hit the keyboard)

OH, Manic Street Preachers. Nicky you were sort of dreamy. You used to spray paint phrases like, "Culture Slut" and "Dead Whore" on white t-shirts and raid your baby sister's dress up bin. Now you shop exclusively at the Gap. You guys are all very exciting and literate, and I love you. If anyone tells you that Lifeblood sucked, or that the band went downhill when Richey disappeared, tell them to suck it. I'll beat them up for you. You are my boyz.

Today I asked myself what ATP was a lot, I tried walking in my shoes with the four inch heels, and even though I looked "HOT H-O-T HOT" I couldn't freaking stop walking like a gazelle stuffed in high heels. That's not a good thing. At one point I thought these girls were laughing at me. Then they were bumped into me by accident and said in a totally nonsarcastic way, "OH sorry- hey, hot shoes!" So whatever.

Respect Your Nan

I'm sick with a fever and a sore throat. It's really bad. Last night I stayed up watching Fargo in bed. Then I went to school to fail the science Hespa. Then myself and my friend who is sick with the same thing I have went to the nurse, whereupon she yelled at us for even coming to school. So here I am now. At home. I'm going to the Hot Dr. in two hours.

Banning The N Word

New York is banning the N word. But don't freak out, dear reader- You can still walk down 84th to Ollie's, spitting, "Hey, what's up my Niggers?" Because this ban has no penalty. This is by far doublegood. Nothing like a 1984-esque environment to infringe upon our freedom of speech.

Anyway, I'm going shopping tomorrow, and getting ready for the spring fashions. I'm going to sleep late, and even later Saturday. I think I'll go and read a book now.