How Could Mary Be a Virgin blah blah blah

Jesus has been the talk of the town all over my high school, and ignorant annoying kids who think they're so hip and anti-establishment keep saying, "How could Mary be a virgin if she gave birth to Jesus?"

Ok. It's a good question, right? I mean, anyone in their right mind would ask that. But how the Hell do you NOT know the Christmas story after being alive on this Earth for fifteen years? I keep explaining to people, Christian, Muslim, atheist, agnostic, whatever- that Mary was a virgin when she, through God's intercession, became pregnant with Jesus Christ. And everyone's like, "Oh, wait so God had sex with Mary-"

That's when I slap a bitch.

I'm a mad Catholic this week. Really. I'm a very understanding person, and I'm in no way conservative or fundamentalist- but bitches need to stop being so stupid, and pick up a book or at least listen to programs on the Discovery Channel. Do you REALLY REALLY freaking believe that I'm going to tell you, "Yes, God had sex with Mary. That's why she was a Virgin." Um, no.

My friend who is interested in religion is reading all about Christianity. She's very interested in Mary; Both Jesus' mom, and Mary Magdalene. She asked, "Was Mary always a virgin?" And I began to tell her about how Catholics and other denominations would have different answers, and how Protestants would say, No, Jesus had brothers blah blah blah blah blah, and that Catholics would say, No, Mary was a Virgin blah blah blah blah blah when Mr. Jehovah's Witness and Bible Belt Christian completely interrupt me and never give me a chance to speak.

I was totally going to give her a fair and unbiased answer, and cover all the bases, too.

Fundamentalist Christians are insane. Stop telling me and my Italian teacher that we worship Mary, and that we're going to Hell. No. We're not; and we don't worship Mary, suckas. BTW- Mary is totally spearing all the Fundamentalist Christians in that picture above. She's mad that they spread lies and bias to good people who have some honest questions and want some general answers.

Mary is every Italian's homegirl.