I Just Met David Sedaris

So Aunt K and I walk in, and I'm talking to her, and she gasps and points to a table where a little man with nice skin was signing books. IT WAS DAVID SEDARIS! I realized then how cute he was, and how if I were walking down the street and little old David Sedaris came by I would probably squeal or something.

So in the back of the line, I was peering over everyone's shoulder just to get a glimpse of him. He has the cutest smile of all time. He was like a teddy bear or something? I mean, I don't know. THe man is tiny. I just had this weird maternal instinct, I wanted to pick him up and run away with him so we could live at my house and watch soap operas all day long.

So then I got closer and closer, until I was right behind this very well dressed couple talking to David. David asked the girl, "Do you have a job?" Which I suppose kind of insulted her, because she kind of just half-giggled, as if she was thinking, "Haha of course I have a job- I'm a rich doctor's wife".

Then it was my turn. I gave him a big frikking smile. He smiled back, in that amazingly cute smile, where he doesn't show his teeth. He signed my book, "Holidays on Ice" and double checked that my name was Laura.

"Now that's what you would call- an attractive couple," he told me, about the rich whities in front of me in line. I nodded my head, and said they definitely were. Even though I didn't even get the glimpse of the guy. But that girl was attractive, so yeah, I bet they were a good looking couple.

"So how old are you, Laura?"
"I'm sixteen."
"Oh!" he said, reaching behind the table to grab a large canvas bag. "I have a little present for you, then-"
"Well, that's good because I have a present for you!" Woo. Thank God. This was a good way to enter my little Fuck It Bucket into the conversation. "One of my favorite stories is about your brother's Fuck It Bucket, so I made you a little one out of a Halloween themed basket."

He smiled and I wanted to ask him if he was sure he was gay. "Why, thank you, that was very kind of you!" (I guess he likes Hershey Kisses). "I always pick up a little something in my travels for the young people," he told me.

"Do you like headbands?"
"Yes!" Wow, I must have sounded like the most obsessed over zealous headband freak in the world. But it's true, I do like headbands. Especially elastic ones that are straight from the eighties. I want a headband, but I always forget to buy one.

"Well, I got this in the Phillipines-" he took out a multicolored, floral elastic headband. "This is in Filipino money," he told me, showing me the the sticker on the back, "but for the sake of not appearing tacky, I'll take it off."

I thanked him "so much", and asked for a picture. I went around the table, put my arm around him, and smiled- I think when she took the pic he was still looking down but who cares, i met freaking david sedaris!!!!!!

He signed my book like this: To Laura, My Teenage Friend (Thank you for the Fuck It Bucket) DS"

I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS I MET DAVID SEDARIS