Review of Marie Antoinette

LET THEM EAT CAKE!

jk. It's a well known fact that Marie Antoinette has never said these words. You can trust me, I am the resident ex-Royal Diaries fanatic. I read those books like a fat kid eats cake. I've always loved historical fiction, and I love learning abotu princesses and evil kings and shit, so I do know a lot about Marie Antoinette, that crazy whore.

Anyway, so last night I saw Sofia Coppola's latest film, Marie Antoinette, starring Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman, Rip Torn (WTF?), and Marianne Faithfull was somewhere in there. I've been waiting to see this ever since we saw the trailers last summer, where pretty Kirsten Dunst runs down the hallway in her heels to New Order. While some people can't understand the 80's New Wave spin that Coppola pulled off, I thought it was AMAZING.

Because this movie is so cinematically gorgeous. From nature scenes, to the palace, to the costumes, to the makeup, to the pastries, to the camera angles and fantastic shoe montages- it was gorgeous. It was so lavender. And sky blue. And PINK.

The music was dead on. It portrayed every mood perfectly, and showed a lot of variety; there was the upbeat songs like "I Want Candy", and then the OH SHIT I'M GOING TO GET MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF songs like The Cure's "All Cats are Grey". This is definitely my musical time period. I can't believe I ever hated the 80's.

Kirsten Dunst did a decent job of portraying Marie Antoinette, the naive and innocent princess who became queen as a teenager. Granted, the dialogue wasn't all that great, but who cares. Marie Antoinette had a freaking shoe montage. She doesn't need dialogue. Jason Schwartzman, who I love oh so very much, did an excellent job of portraying Louis Insert Big Number Here. It was very Schwartzman-like, but he was still convinving enough as an actual king.

FAVORITES

1. My favorite dresses weren't worn by Marie Antoinette, but by her friends. I love all those pastel colors.

2. My favorite pastry were the white and pink ones that looked like checkers. (As you can see, I like the pastries)

3. My favorite song was the club-hopping "Aphrodisiac" by Bow Wow Wow.

4. There were lots of dreamy sequences where Marie just stares out the window or up at the ceiling; those were my favorite because they were so well done.

So, yeah. I enjoyed the film a lot. I like how it portrayed her in a sympathetic light. She wasn't just the slut that modern history has unfortunately painted her out to be. She was the naive little girl who was thrown head first into court life at Versailles, which, if you know anything about history, was mad skeevy. She didn't know a thing about politics, but then again she wasn't exactly expected to. She loved her kids, and even though she cheated on Jason Schwartzman with that Orlando Bloom-esque Swede, she did respect her husband. I guess. Probably.

In conclusion, why can't I be Marie Antoinette? If I could dress up in pink and blue all day long, go shoe shopping, eat doughy pastries, be married to Jason Schwartzman (Minus the extra thirty pounds he had to put on, but that's ok, too, there are girl chubby chasers), and run around to New Order all day long with my cute little babies- I'd be a very happy girl.

Just minus all that head cut off stuff.